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I really need to get outta this house. but for the things I want to do, I cant. I'll have to live here for at least another year more.

Is it sad that I wish that my own father would die in his sleep from alcohol overdose? I think so. but then again he's such an a*****e that I wouldnt care. It would mean we didnt have a negative being holding us back anymore.

I get so tired and pissed and depressed whenever i hear him, but i cant do much back, or else he'll be even MORE of an a**. or he will give my mom less money to pay bills. (which the ******** is doing already)

he basicly ignores his kids, its HIGHLY possibly that he's cheating on my mom with the neighboring widow, hes an alcoholic and a heavy smoker. and then once in a while he gets on his high horse and decides to be the father figure for five minutes. well, guess what? TOO LITTLE TOO LATE, YOU b*****d!!! DONT ACT LIKE YOU REALLY CARE CUZ WE KNOW YOU DONT, IF YOU DID YOU'D STRAIGHTEN YOURSELF UP!! WE'RE ALL TIRED OF YOUR BULLSHIT!! WE WOULD LOVE IT IF YOU'D MOVE OUT AND JUST GIVE MOM CHILD SUPPORT!!! PEOPLE IN REAL LIFE DONT THINK i HAVE A DAD ANYWAY, CUZ 99% OF THE TIME YOU'RE ******** PLASTERED, AND PASSED OUT IN YOUR ROOM ONCE YOU GET HOME FROM WORK!

and yes he can be a good guy when hes not drunk, but when does that happen? maybe 3 TIMES A YEAR AT BEST!!!

*sigh* ...I need to get my s**t together as soon as I can. and get out.