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L's Diary: Entry Thirteen |
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Dear Diary,
I suspect I am suffering from influenza. I never should have let Raito drag me out of the house, but I just can't resist that boy's whining.
For example, last week:
Raito was sitting to my right (as usual) but was unusually silent. His feet were tapping back and forth, seeming to form some kind of beat. His eyebrows were scrunched in that way that subtly lets you know he's concentrating on something in his mind, nibbling his bottom lip ever so lightly, staring off in to space. After a few moments of that tapping, he turned to me and out of nowhere asked me if I had ever played Dance Dance Revolution before. For a student genius, he sure is... sporadic.
Raito went on to elaborate on how I had to learn to enjoy games more (which was extremely uncharacteristic of him. I felt like I was talking to Matt...) and how I was missing out on a "greatly amusing workout". As usual, he was able to haggle me into calling Watari to buy a set of Dance Pads for our living space.
Now about this "DDR" business... I do believe those were the most physically tiring two hours of my life. The game was exceptionally boring the first round. 'Light Mode' was too simplistic. I assume Raito saw my uninterest, so he coerced me to dance a song on 'Standard Mode'. It was then that Raito said I had "amazing eye-foot coordination". (Apparently getting "AAA" on the first attempt is unheard of?) Then he pushed me on to the Dance Mat for the third time. I was to dance a song on 'Heavy Mode', which resulted in another "AAA" score. Already, my legs were ready to cave in. This type of workout was too much to suddenly thrown at me. (In fact, my legs are still sore.) I did vocalize my concern for my own well-being, but of course, Raito pulled up a second dance mat to join me.
In his words, I "creamed his a**".
Of course, when I was really beginning to enjoy myself, Amane-san enters the scene. Naturally, I got pushed roughly on to the floor during her tackling of Raito mid-dance. Amane needs to learn self-control. Although I admire her for her ability to love so unconditionally and passionately, she needs to realize her "love" is a one-sided love.
However clear the situation between Amane-san and Raito is in my head, that clenching feeling in my chest I'd had back in the cafe comes back once more. I'm 98 percent sure that I am not a Misa-Misa zealot, but my chest swells and pinches, my stomach folds upon itself, and my hands start to shake. Although I continuously breathe deep, even breaths, I cannot seem to stop the shaking. This condition only seems to worsen over time. Come to think of it, I can trace the beginning of these "episodes" to around the same time I started working on the Kira case. Maybe it's just stress. Yes, it's just stress.
Raito's behavior has been changing dramatically since when we were first cuffed together. Although he is quite an intelligent young man, he is gradually acting more like an 18-year-old college student. If I did not know any better, I would say that he is letting his guard down. He is beginning to genuinely trust me. Even writing this now, I feel strangely elated. Ecstatic.
I called the House today. Matt's raspy voice answered the phone. This time, Mello was sick and Near was refusing to answer the phone in Roger's absence. I told him I am beginning to understand. That I am becoming emotionally attached to this case. I did the unthinkable and told him of the case. The case and all of its progress. I told him enough. I told him too much. I told him that I will not be able to live with myself if the only friend I have is executed because of me.
And in a very Matt-esque manner, he chuckled and said "For once just do what you personally perceive to be right, not what the law says is right. You deserve happiness too." and hung up.
L
 minikimii · Wed Aug 13, 2008 @ 11:08pm · 0 Comments |
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