Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

 
 

View User's Journal

Report This Entry Subscribe to this Journal
******** it all
here it is chapter 1 and 2 of my story
Chapter 1
prologe

Time is ever changeing. Never ending even when there is no hope. Many learn this especially those who come from the Realm of Darkness. This realm is one of the five realms that we exsist in. First is the Realm of spirits' beyond that is the realm of light, the realm of the lost and then the ralm of limits. We the people of earth reside in the realm of limits. We may think that we are missfortunate for we cant cast magic or fly on our own but we are lucky unlike those who live in the realm of darkness. They live everyday working under thier lord known as Drake the defiled. His people die every day from exastion in what is known as the rift of time which connects each realm. Why does he make his people work in the rift, no one knows but this is only a segmant of our story for our story begins in our realm with the boy named Wolf Toramizu......


Chapter 2
The Gate

I was only fifteen when i found it. The gate of time, at least thats what the japenese symbols on the side of the odd arch said. Ive lived in japan for 8 years but was born in america. So here i was considered an outcast with no family. Yes i am a orphan..... with a few benifits at the local libraries. The only friend i had was a girl who ihad met in a chat room but i didnt know where she was from. She never told me were she lived. the only thing i new was her user name which was Snow 162. I didnt know her that well though. All i knew was were she came from there was a lot of sadness and hurt.

I often ditched school so i wouldnt be called name or have objects thrown at me. Thats how i stumbled upon this cavern and the gate that resided in it. Since then ive been coming and going during and after school hours to explore and studythe cavern and its gate that stood in the middle of the junction chamber not concealing nor hiding anything of any importance. Until that faithfull day came. I was exploring the halls that had been left off to the right of the gate and after an hour or so of waling through the hall i stumbled upon a hole in the wall that was shaped like a sphere. As i studdied the hole for quite some time i lhad noticed something lying on the ground. There on the ground was a sphere with a odd glow. When i picked it up it looked like the stone could fit in the hole. So bein curious i took the stone and inserted it into the hole. When the stone was fully in the hole a loud sound of what seemed to be chains clashing against the side ot the cavern walls . I turned quickly shaking as te sound steadily faded away steadly fading into a clicking noise that had sounded like a door opening. I followed the caven to find that the gate no longer had nothing between it but a miiror that stood there showing my reflection. I then reached out with a sudden urge to touch the mirror but suddenly my as i touched it my hand had sinked in as if it was water. I quickly withdrew my hand frightened from what had just happened. I then heard my name being called from within the liquid that stood within the gate, and as i heard my name called the liquid shot out from within the gate and started to pull at my arm. I had struggled to break loose but it was no use. It was just like sinking sand. The more you struggled the more it pulled. Finally giving up on trying to escape i let the liquid yank me into it this was when i started to regret ever finding that gate.

so how did u like it was it good does it need work? feel free to tell me the spelling mistakes.
well ill be writin Chapter 3 and 4. so later!

Kazuki Daisuke
Community Member
  • [05/23/09 10:30pm]
  • [05/18/09 05:34am]
  • [05/08/09 06:34am]
  • [05/08/09 01:47am]
  • [05/07/09 10:45pm]
  • [04/28/09 04:03am]
  • [04/21/09 07:37am]
  • [04/21/09 12:40am]
  • [04/18/09 10:16pm]
  • [03/29/09 08:20pm]




  • User Comments: [1]
    An0ther_L0st_S0ul
    Community Member





    Mon Mar 24, 2008 @ 02:56am


    Ok here's all the problems I see!

    *Changing (that was spelled wrong this is correct spelling)
    *Misfortunate
    *exhaustion
    *segment
    *watch ur capitalization,ur not capitalizing some of ur I's and some beginnings of sentences
    *name should be names
    *u put waling I'm sur eit's supposed to be walking
    *studied
    *it would be sphere with an odd glow
    *being
    *Reword this sentence it makes no sense! When the stone was fully in the hole a loud sound of what seemed to be chains clashing against the side ot the cavern walls .
    *Ur spelling sux in this part of a sentence! to find that the gate no longer had nothing between it but a miiror that stood there showing my reflection. It should be, to find that the gate no longer had anything between it but a mirror that stood there showing my reflection.
    *Another sentence that had been wrong!I've fixed it! I reached out with a sudden urge to touch the mirror but suddenly as I touched it my hand sank in as if it was water.

    Much love hun! I will review it again and if I find any other problems I'll let u know!


    User Comments: [1]
     
     
    Manage Your Items
    Other Stuff
    Get GCash
    Offers
    Get Items
    More Items
    Where Everyone Hangs Out
    Other Community Areas
    Virtual Spaces
    Fun Stuff
    Gaia's Games
    Mini-Games
    Play with GCash
    Play with Platinum