I feel fine, But I have no clue why I'm crying. It seems my tears just slip out any random times. My mom wonders what's wrong, I told her I dont know. I told her I felt fine. To tell you the truth I really dont know whats wrong I just cry, it just seems easier to let my pain out then to ignore it and smile. My friends dont see the real me. I hide me from myself. Its scary, I acually thought about killing myself. I'm afriad, of myself. I really dont want to die, but when I was crying I thought about it. I thought about the easiest way, the less painfull way. I thought about me being happy and seeing my grandpa again. I thought about how people would be sad, but they would get over it. That night I had a plan. A full fledged plan, and my mom helped me out of it. I feel terrified of myself now. I feel scared to be alone. I just need someone to talk to about this. I'm scared, of myself.