|
|
|
Hey, what do you know, my first post of my thoughts. I don't know whether to be happy, or sad that I too have been bitten by the blog bug. Anyway, I think I'm trying to figure out my fascination with the darker side of things. It's not like I enjoy evil, or anything of such calibur (despite my continuing listeing to Cradle fo Filth. Damn they have some nasty lyrics), but rather my interest, and utter servitude to the forces of melancholy and the tides of despression. Shadow, not evil. When I'm not under the influence, I can intellectually understand it's attraction, but emotionally, I'd prefer to be happy and carefree. I just don't get it. Like n00b spelling. Then again, most of the time, my mood is at least a little tainted by the shadows. Like when I was at the fair with Akasha. He dragged me to the Ferris Wheel, which he obscenely enjoys, and just made me feel odd. A Ferris wheel is a couple thing, which just makes me feel bitter, and yeah...I was at a bloody fair. I should have been enjoying it, but no, the entire time after, even into the glass and mirror maze, I still had it lurking between my skin.
Now I'm just rambling. Right, gotta get back on subject.
On the other hand, when I am under the influence, it's the most satisfying thing in the world. I'm caught in it's grip, which is as neblous as fairy dust, but as binding as steel. It's allmost a special kind of high. Certain music just amplyfies it. It's not being depressed, like I was after my most recent failed love affair. I was depressed then. Not fun. This isn't fun either,but then again, it doesn't have to be fun to enjoy it. Whatever. I'm just goig in circles now. Until later.
The breaking of joy is the beginning of wisdom
~Inquestral saying
 Nihilistic Seraph · Wed Jul 06, 2005 @ 01:46am · 2 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
