I'm somewhat pissed off right now. The one thing I wanted for my birthday...I can't have! God damnit!
I had taken a nap yesturday and around 4:30 pm I woke and went to the laptop to get a ticket for Anime Expo. Well I was just getting on the site when I hear my mom ask my sister where I was. She told her I was at the laptop and my mom sat down next to me.
"I have some bad news..." She said and for some reason I already knew what it was. But I didn't want to believe it. So I just said "What?"
"You can't go to the anime thing...the check didn't come in. I'm really sorry."
I felt so bad at that moment. I only wanted this for my birthday. To be with my friends at AX. I worked so hard the past few weeks to not buy a single thing. I gave up movies and stuff I wanted. I wanted to cry but I held in the tears.
She told me that we didn't have enough money to send me. That this was worst money situation we have ever be in. That my idiot step-sister (my dad's daugthter) is sucking us dry.
I told her that I understood and I was to call KK that I couldn't go. So I went to my room with the phone. I called her and when she answered I just broke down. I couldn't hold it in. I was crying hard and she said she get me anything I needed. Than I decided to help her with the costumes she was making for herself and for some friends. They were going to cosplay as the Final Fantasy Crystal Cronaciols (sp?) characters. I asked my mom and she said yes.
Well at least I get to hang out with KK, Alex (KK bro), Ben, and Bill. I was just about to close my door when my mom came to me.
"You can't go. You've got to watch Tory in the morning. She can't be left alone." I was just so depressed at that point. My anger was going out of control so I said fine and for the first time in my life. I slammed my door and broke down once again. I was just about to call KK when my mom came in.
I really didn't want her to see my cry. She just saw me and the next thing I knew my mother was crying with me. We hugged each other and said she was so sorry for letting things get out of control. That she should of put a stop to this long ago. Than her cell phone rang. She went to answer it . I was my father.
"I can't take this right now. She's crying...I'm crying." I heard my mother say and hang up.
She came back and we cried once again. She said she let me stay over at KK's house for the night. She had taken away my weekend so she gave me the night. She watch Tory in the morning until my sister got home. (Yes it only took since Febuary for my 23 year old ******** up sister to get a job. She works nights now.)
So my mom took me to KK's house. The whole way there we just continued to cry. We both knew that my sister is taking her sweet a** time getting things done. We both know she doesn't want to work. We both know she doesn't want to get her own place. All she wants is to live here at our house and live off us and welfare.
But going over to KK's house made me feel somewhat better. Her brother, Ben, and Bill were there. We all watched a Japanese show and Gackt was on it. Than we all worked together to make costumes. It was fun. Than I found out that one of those guys has a thing for me and that kind of surpised me.
KK's brother asked why I wasn't going. I told him everything and I felt so good to let it all out. He listened and I'm thankful he did along with his sister KK. He told me a problem he had with his father and he was glad I listened.
I felt like crying but than...KK's bro Alex looked at me and said "Are you going to be okay." I don't know why but him saying that made me feel better. I smiled and said I be alright.
So I spent the night and I feel somewhat better but still pissed off some. I really want to go with them but alas I'm stuck here. KK said she get an autograph for me. The guy who plays the voice of Alucard from Hellsing will be there. She also said she buy me MoonChild starring Gackt. Also she said when she get back she make me an anime sketched mirror.
I'm just thinking about forgetting about my birthday this year. With how low on money this family has I just be thankful knowing we'll have money. So I'm still pending on forgetting my birthday this Wednesday.
You may think I'm some whinny b***h right now. Well you can stick your god damn remarks up your a**! Cause I don't give a flying ********! Sorry if some find this offense but I'm still testy.
While I was at KK's she put this up on myspace and I just like what she out.
KK: "The human mind cannot be made to comprehend the things it does not wish to understand.
This is the origin of ignorence, hate, fear and insanity."
Also this is artwork that KK drew herself and I have to relate to this picture.
Felicitystar Community Member |
|