[Posted June 16 at like 11:30 pm]
I've made an oath. Or... sort of an oath. It's not big enough that I would commit suicide if I broke it, but still. Promise to myself, that I'm going to work my hairy, white a** off to stay out of other people's s**t. If they want to come to me and tell me their problems, then that is just fine. But I won't tell or mention that s**t to anyone else, at all. Ever. Except my counselor, because by law she cannot talk to anyone else about it. I will keep all my ranting to my mother, to myself, to my diary, and to my counselor. I will stop making other people's problems my s**t. It's not my business. I will not make it my business, and if someone else makes it my business, I will back out and make it very clear to everyone else that I do not consider it my business. I'm tired of being hated. I'm tired of being bitter. I'm tired of everything I have to go through. I hate acting like I don't know what's going on. It's like middle school all over again. I was alone, depressed, and downright [******** up in middle school. I do not want to go back there. I need to move on. I need to be happy. I'm tired of feeling this hard squeeze in my sternum. I'm tired of wanting and needing attention so badly that I take it anywhere I can find it, I take it from assholes who don't deserve me. I'm settling. Like so many of my friends, whose s**t I make my business. You know what? I won't be them. I'll learn from them. But I won't worry over them. It's their lives, their mistakes.
Gentlemen, I wash my hands of this wierdness.
What if I wanted to break?
Laugh it all off in your face?
What would you do?
What if I fell to the floor,
Couldn't take this anymore?
What would you do, do, do?
Come, break me down
Bury me, bury me
I am finished with you
What if I wanted to fight,
Beg for the rest of my life?
What would you do?
You say you wanted more
What are you waiting for?
I'm not running from you
Come, break me down
Bury me, bury me
I am finished with you
Look in my eyes
You're killing me, killing me!
All I wanted was you
I tried to be someone else
But nothing seemed to change
I know now
This is who I really am inside
Finally found myself
Fighting for a chance
I know now
This is who I really am!
Come, break me down
Bury me, bury me
I am finished with you, you, you!
Look in my eyes
You're killing me, killing me
All I wanted was you
 the_original_demongal · Sun Jun 17, 2007 @ 07:35am · 1 Comments |
