So this past weekend I broke up with Phox. I admit it was selfish of me to do it, but when I thought about it.. hes going to be just as busy as I am.. and we hardly ever see each other. I want to go see the movie Pirates with him but I don't think I'll be able to now. I know I love him... I care for him.. but right now I'm putting those feelings aside.. I can't stay with him... its not happening.
The way it happened:
My friend came up to me at the end of my 15minutes left at the con. I said I had to say goodbye to everyone. Phox was first on my list. I went up and kissed him on the cheek. Then hugged him close. I tried talking to him but I had to get to his ear so it looks like we were really close. I said to him:
Phox((insert real name here)) I'm breaking up with you. ((he says "what? I can't hear you"... so I had to speak up louder)) I'm breaking up with you. I don't want you to think that its because of the events that happened on Thursday. ((I'm really exhausted from all the dancing)) Its for your sake, and for your future. You'll be busy in the future. I know.. I was a model. The fact that I'm short means that I can't model any more. ((yea thats like key.. you have to be tall)) But for you, since your a guy and tall. Well it might be easier for you. Anyways. I hope for the best for you. ((he says "having this come from you means a lot to me" wink ) ((insert real name here)) I'm only breaking up for a short period. ((or am I?)) So please don't worry.. or anything. ((he says "Promise me" wink ) Promise what? ((he says "Promise me that it will be a short break up" wink ) I don't know if I can guarantee that. ((he says" then don't promise me anything" wink ) I'll try to keep that promise then. I'm sorry I couldn't fulfill the promise that we had set out for today.
I stop hugging him and he puts his hand on my face. And I say "This will be our last kiss for now."
So I kissed him and then let go of him.
I said goodbye to all of my friends that came from Tennessee. Then I walked out of the main event room ((the rave)) and then I see him go out to get a drink of water and I turned away.
Right now // Currently
I'm okay with my decision. It was going to happen. I seriously don't think I want to be with him any more. I don't want to because of the lack of trust. I know I conditioned him for half of the time not to talk about the females he hangs out with but you know.. I never did any of that to him. I want to say I can cry.. but if I did.. It'd be happy tears. I'm not upset by any means.. and I can continue with my way of life.. My frozen heart never wavered to him. I'll live, but I don't kno about him.
 Celeste_Orchid · Tue May 29, 2007 @ 03:50am · 0 Comments |
