• It’s been a long time since I’ve done it
    (not long enough,
    though,
    it’s never long enough)
    But it’s been so much longer since I started
    .
    .
    .
    Thinking back,

    Is it – normal (?)
    For a fourth grader
    To snip off flesh
    With big-kid scissors?
    .
    Is it common?
    For a ten-year-old
    To heat metal
    And press it
    -lightly-
    —burning! (sizzling)—
    -firmly-
    To their own skin?
    .
    .
    .
    Discovering razors was the most
    (painful, delightful,
    breathtaking,
    ecstatic
    nauseating
    sexua--)
    Intense experience
    .
    The first cut
    -barely a scratch-
    (I nearly fainted)
    That I made
    Was the greatest
    High

    IT WAS WRONG!
    (sickening)

    But I had found
    A twisted solace
    In cold,
    Unyielding
    Metal
    .
    And in
    Cold,
    Unyielding
    Metal,
    My solace remained.