Death Comes My Way

• Artist: RockerKitty16
• Description:
• Date: 01/28/2012
• Tags: death comes

Nothing left, I'm an empty soul
I have no reason to go on
No feeling, no emotion,
I'm numb as the freezing dawn

No one can save me
I've lost my way.
He's gone now,
I'm left to stay.

Hell has opened
My heart bleeds out
No happiness left
No reason to shout

Broken homes,
resemble a broken heart
Mine's been ripped open
Torn apart.

If today I die,
Blame the pain
Cause after today
I have nothing to gain.

Comments

[Coolyei]

@fluffy, the simile could make sense if she was speaking ironically, as if the dawn brought happiness for others and only sadness for her, but I sort of doubt it. You get a 3/5 from me.

[Slinkenhofer]

"As numb as the freezing dawn."
That simile doesn't make sense, most things awake by the light of dawn :/
Otherwise, it seems like you're just repeating yourself with all the talk of numbness and metaphoric physical dismemberment. Perhaps you could find a different way to approach your message?

[Centrifugal_comfort]

I give you five stars with this I feel like you are telling me a story. I love it!