She Helps

• Artist: BreeHale
• Description: Judge and please be fair, if you don't like sad poems move on, don't read it then be hateful
  
  I wrote this a while back, thinking about all I do for people and how it affects me in the end... I find myself thinking about all these things before and after I sleep... I have to remind myself to keep going for the ones I love, because if I go... well, many people have told me the outcome will not be good, not sure if I believe them, but I don't want to take that risk...
• Date: 07/06/2011
• Tags: helps life dragging

She listens closely and watches their tears
She sheds away her own hopes and fears
Takes on their problems like her own
Never would have accepted if she'd known
That it would lead her to trouble and despair
And make her feel like she's living without air
No one can help her with this aquired burden
What she tries to do makes her silver not golden
Heavy with guilt and begging for forgiveness
She walks the world, handing out goodness
Little pieces of her soul in other people's hands
With crippled posture and painted on smile she stands
Ready for the world to throw her a life line
Instead she gets another "Do it yourself" sign
Some people reach in her drowning pool
Trying to help her, help this poor little fool
She fell for the tricks, promises and lies
All of them surrounding her like swarms of flies
Dragging her down, away from her hope and peace
And after awhile she wants her life to cease
But she walks on, believeing she can make it
Walking as far as she can from that deep pit
The one that swallows her whole in darkness
Throws out a broken model in her likeness
Maybe the world will be forgiving in a few years
But maybe this girl, me, will be all she appears
Just broken and twisted with bubbling sorrow
Looking towards that far off tomorrow

Comments

[BreeHale]

I had breaks in it originally, but decided not to add them here, not sure why.... and thank you for your commentary ^^ it is much appreciated
As for your poem I'm kinda surprised too, it was a wonderful poem.... I think people are starting to lose respect for our basic arts.... and that is a sad fact....

[Mechy Malao]

Interesting, seems like a narrative and seems that you hit what you were aiming at. I would suggest a break somewhere in the poem, not a pro but that is what I think, due to its length. Seems well thought out however, and also thanks for looking at my work, I was actually surprised it took so long for a reply.