Where Hope Lies

• Artist: Sharp Fryer
• Description: I never really tried to make a poem or anything before but for some reason i figured to give it a shot.
• Date: 05/26/2010
• Tags: where hope lies dark light

Some people say that feelings writhe
Like a ship sways from side to side
That trust and love burns from lies
Punctures more then endless knives

Or A Sun Screams The Moon Cries
As Darkness Spreads, engrossing it tries
Of Twisted thoughts debating inside
One side chooses the defeated's demise

Destruction, Depressions and Delusion ally's
with one another and weighs oversize
that differs with emotions one relies
So painfull to vision from the eyes

But i will glare into the sky's
for hope one day that luck replies
To answer my prayers, dreams and cries
To save me from saying my own goodbyes

Comments

[Idiosyncratic Quirk]

Good story and good underlying themes but your metaphors need to have a consistent theme which you were close to having but the ship threw it off.
All in all, 3/5.
Keep writing. I see fantastic writings in your future.