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As if you were
a flightless bird,
You chirped
and chirped,
Never leaving
the ground.
I stayed and watched
Your pitiful
attempt,
And,
getting bored,
spread my jaws.
As if you were
A river's stone,
you stayed,
pushed
and pulled
by the currents,
until
I picked you up,
and threw you across,
only to land
once again
in the riverbed..
As if you were
A flaming torch,
You light
the dark,
undisturbed.
Cold and quiet
don't stand a chance,
against
your broken beat
of light
and heat.
As if you were
my only one,
my only love,
my only song.
My other half.
my missing piece,
my sure thing.
As if you were
my melody,
my soon-to-be,
my darling.
As if you were.
If only
you were.
- by MalevolentChocolate |
- Poetry And Lyrics
- | Submitted on 12/24/2009 |
- Skip
- Title: As If You Were. (If Only.)
- Artist: MalevolentChocolate
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Description:
Sorry for any grammar/spelling mistakes, guys.
This was just something I threw together around midnight one day (or, should I say, night), and decided to post to see what comments I would get. Please rate and comment! Constructive critisism is always welcome, though please don't get too rough on me, guys... this isn't one of my best pieces, though I fixed it up as well I could. - Date: 12/24/2009
- Tags: asifyouwere malevolentchocolate malchoco ifonly
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Comments (6 Comments)
- Fraudulent_Veracity - 06/29/2010
- totally coolness! smile definatily a five outa five. im soo jealis and i wish i could write like you can. if this isnt one of yur best pieces you should totally post your favorite ones.
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- MalevolentChocolate - 05/18/2010
- Thanks!
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- UncontainedHysteria - 01/10/2010
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Wow! You must be REALLY good at "throwing things together around midnight"! I severely wish I could do that...
keep up the good work, girly!
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- wink_unlimited - 01/10/2010
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i absolutly adored this!
love it love it love it.
i normally like poems that ryme but this freeverse thing worked well. thank you for posting this and opening up my eyes.
*clicks add as favorite* - Report As Spam
- British_Train_Crash - 01/10/2010
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Oh my gosh! I love this! I love your use of simile and metaphor, etc.etc.
Definitely keep doing pieces like this smile - Report As Spam
- silverwing2822 - 12/28/2009
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Wow i liked this very much. Flightless bird is a bit overused,but I like how you changed its meaning near the end of the first stanza. I love the second and third stanza. The line that I liked the most was "Don't stand a chance against your broken beat of light and heat." The fourth stanza till the end reminds me of a song. Ive learned that just about everyone gets their best inspiration when theyre restless or cant sleep. Keep up the good work!! smile
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