if

• Artist: Sudden tears
• Description: to those who rate my poem: thnks for reading, but could someone please leave a comment and tell me what u think? corections and advice are welcome.
• Date: 06/30/2009
• Tags:

if i reached out my hand to you would you take it
be grateful for my companionship
and except me as i am?
or would you turn from me
and walk away
because my friendship doesn't matter?

if i told you i loved you would you care?
embrace me with a kiss
and tell me you felt the same?
or would you pretend you didn't hear
and leave me with your rejection
because i wasn't as perfect as you hoped?

if i ran away would you notice?
search until you found me?
or would you blow it off
because you never cared about me?

if i died today would you mourn me?
shed a tear in sorrow?
or would u turn away
and go on with your tomorrow?

Comments

[Sudden tears]

@iMMA-MUNSTER-: I didn't even relize I had done most of that hehe sweatdrop so thank you. I'll try to correct that.

[iMMA-MUNSTER]

Maybe I'm being too much of a stickler for the English vocabulary here, but you've had a lot of grammatical errors. For instance; you spelled embrace and tomorrow wrong. Also, you changed from using the actual word "you" to "u" a lot, I think it'd be a lot better if you'd stick to one type of the word. Either chat lingo or not.

But, excluding the overall obvious. I give it a 4/5. >_>

[Shifting Goddess]

I luved it! Glad u liked mine. check out my avatar I sent in.

[Shnook2blazy]

I hate to admit it but I find myself asking those questions sometimes...^^'
I think it's very good, seems like it came from your heart^^

[CocoaKittieCutie]

awww.....