The Pink Dress

• Artist: rafieraf1232
• Description: My poem doesn't have any pics or music I just like it simple :)
• Date: 06/26/2009
• Tags: pink dress

There was a sad little girl in the park,
she wore a pink dress and sat in the dark
people passed by, but didn't notice a thing
to tell you the truth it isn't surprising

One day I decided to approach the young girl
Her hair was dirty and full of ugly curls
Though her dress was still as beautiful as before
Its something I ponder and simply adore

I started with a simple "hello"
She answered back looking at her own shadow
We talked for a long time for a long time indeed
Then I gave her a cupcake "Its not something I need"
"But I think you deserve it" I answered

Then something happened amazing! She spread out her wings
She was an angel this whole time! I heard the bells ring
Then she flew up in to the air I looked at her go
Because there are always some things you need to know
The End

Comments

[rafieraf1232]

Okay don't mind the "but I think you deserve it I answered" I'll do better next time

[imaustin55]

take out the "'but i think you deserve it' I answered" part...its already understood in the line before about the character not needing the cupcake that he/she was guna give the little girl the cupcake...and that line doesnt run smoothly with the other lines....but other than that....diffidently a great poem...the guy before this comment ( Jeyrin ) took the words right out of my mouth smile 5/5

[Jeyrin]

very nice. I think it's beautiful and very inspiring. People need to learn that you can find beauty in just about anything, if only you take the time to look for it. 5/5. Rate back?