fallen, im broken inside..

• Artist: Fizii
• Description: nothing really, to pour your own heart, make a painting from the pain. but here i used writing, so as you see, i felt alone that day.
• Date: 04/14/2009
• Tags: fallen broken inside

small, but weary.
i was left without goodbye
smiling,
oh so weak..
you dropped me,
a fragile doll surpassing on the endless sunset,
that we called love,
but i see through your eyes,
its no suprise, that you, of all
could leave some doll, so fragile,
on the floor of your own misery.
i was there to comfort.
but all you could do was shove..
i stuck it through,
my thread fell away, you let go..
the depth of my heart lied within,
but the thread..
fell..
we..
could not be met.

Comments

[Fapkin]

Hmm, I like it! I also don't see any grammar mistakes with the way that this poem was written. It wasn't written to rhyme or have full sentences or thoughts. I write like this sometimes, it makes your mood of sadness and feelings of hurt seem more "there" in the poem, if you get what I mean. Lol. This is good! Definitely deserves a 5/5.

[nylasaur]

Hmm...
Well, I suggest using correct grammar.

[Fizii]

...hi thr?