An Autmun's walk

• Artist: Menardi Grace
• Description: I did this poem in a poem game in Soliaonline.com. (In case you want to check, I'm Elauria on there). I thought that this is arena worthy and I want to see your guys reactions.
  
  I only started with the words crisp/rich/dark/bright/soft. Each stanza is 7-5-7 and I tried to keep up the theme of lost love & nature.
  
  I couldn't figure the title for this one (rare). If anyone has an suggestion, I'm all ears.
  
  EDIT: I finally figured out the title.
• Date: 03/24/2009
• Tags: autmun walk love

Air as crisp as an apple
Wakens my senses
On my lone meandering

I survey the rich landscape:
Lovebirds departing,
Grass greener over the hedge

Lola, my cherry blossom,
Must you seek him out?
Forget his dark illusions!

I am constant as the trees -
Soft petals to snow -
My roots are in solid ground

At the end of my journey
I see a bright star
Alone in autumn’s nightlife

Comments

[Menardi Grace]

O come on, it describes the narrator's situation razz .

[meizha]

Not bad. But I didn't like the thirds stanza. It sounded a little corny.