Obsession

• Artist: Bismuth Proxy
• Description: I've been wanting to enter this poem I wrote a while back.
  
  
  (Rate and Comment Please)
• Date: 03/23/2009
• Tags: obsession

It's a song in your head,
That you just can't get out.
It's a twitch in your leg,
That makes you dance about...

It's a pain in your hand,
After writing it down.
It's the smile you wear,
That's forsaken the frown...

It's the beat in your heart,
That you cannot control.
It's the voice through your mind,
That at times makes you drool...

It's the feeling in your soul,
Makes you shake, Makes you fall.
It's the gleam in your eye,
That takes down the wall...

It's the memories you know,
That keep you yearning for more.
It's your curious sense,
Making you come back forth...

It's the love in your being,
That those people adore.
The Obsession with life,
That they're looking for...

Comments

[vamprisskat]

good poem enjoyable to read keep it up

[Master Michi]

I do not usually like reading poetry, but I did enjoy this. I have to admit that it made me smile. I would try to expand on the words a bit by maybe changing a few around to make them a little more descriptive - add a little more kick. Good job.

[cooll666725]

Well, It is pretty good. However, you should try to write one that's a little longer. Contrary to what the girl below commented, I like the drooling part it adds character. Always keep the tone unique.

[The Mysterious Gunslinger]

Your BEST?

How... can I reply to THAT?

(Ha! Ha!)

[A Madness Shared by Two]

It is okay. Decent poem. The line "That at times makes you drool..." made me cringe.