EVERYWHERE EYES

• Artist: UC Poika
• Description: I like eyes. Here's a poem about them.
• Date: 03/18/2009
• Tags: everywhere eyes

EVERYWHERE EYES
by Just_Fn_Crazy


Eyes
eyes everywhere
green eyes, blue
brown and bloodshot
eyes, all staring.
Lost and lonely eyes
hungry for love
longing for passion,
excitement, pleasure,
or even pain.
Unfeeling eyes
of people without
feelings, feeling their way
through the inner spaces,
haunting my visions.

Stop and think,
are the stars we watch,
watching us watch?
Heaven’s eyes?
God’s eyes?
The Universe wondering
what we will do next?

Standing still in silence
eyes all around us
on a hill with a halo
about the motionless moon.
Eyes . . . everywhere eyes . . .
I see you.

Comments

[vv7722]

This is really incredible, and although I've never seen eyes in stars this poem may have changed my perspective. Love the ending; it's a little bit like a haunting statement that leaves you something to think about. 5/5, liked it ~

[h00drat64]

First off, the concept is pretty cool, however I think you used the word 'eyes' way too much. If you were trying to go for intentional reptition with the word, it did not come across like so. Also, I feel like you are telling me how you feel rather than showing me. How are they hungry for love/passion/excitement etc.; instead of telling me that is what they're longing for, describe it to me. I feel like you could get much more descriptive and add in more fig. language.

[iAethereality]

Looking this over, I'm honestly not a fan of this. I think stronger imagery could be added. Give us a scene and more expressive wording. I can read and feel this, but I want to see and feel this. You see eyes, but I wish you could expand the horizon on this because as much as it is a lovely start -- I believe it can be stronger. Good luck.

[I M Simi 2]

WoW That's really nice Daddy! ^-^ <3 this poem, i like eyes too hehe =)
5/5

[Faded Dreams5]

Verry nice. I realy liked the part about heaven's eyes watching us. I do agree with syxx and shadowofaprincess also, but I still like the poem and I think you could do some cool things with this concept.

[Jerryboam]

I love this poem, I love eyes too. It's my favorie of all your poems.