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On the day you said goodbye
My heart broke in two
When you said we were through
On the day you said goodbye
I remembered the times we shared
I remembered when you cared
On the day you said goodbye
I ran into my room and cried
Because a part of me had died
- by wildflower2828 |
- Poetry And Lyrics
- | Submitted on 01/03/2009 |
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- Title: On the Day you said Goodbye
- Artist: wildflower2828
- Description: I wrote this cause i was bored and i had some inspiration. This really sucks but i wanted to hear what people thought of it. CONSTRUCTIVE CRITASM NEEDED! Please comment and rate
- Date: 01/03/2009
- Tags: said goodbye wildflower2828
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Comments (4 Comments)
- ConsultingHallMonitor - 12/17/2009
- it was good but too short
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- xXDarkDeception600Xx - 02/24/2009
- Ok so this probably sounds pretty sick...but I think it's cute in a sad sort of way. The rhyming kind of gives it that feel.
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- Heller Krieger - 01/20/2009
- It flows very well.
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- Ms Make Me Smile - 01/06/2009
- i thought the concept and the lines themselves were good but together they didnt seem to work very well. i think a ryming scheme would be much better. but i still thought it was good it kinda spoke to me. 3/5
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