Loving Alice

• Artist: Lilith_Eden
• Description: just something short I wrote,
  still a major work in progress,
  Please comment.
• Date: 12/16/2008
• Tags: loving alice

cup my hand
and walk with me to the edge,
and if you really love me,
the way you said you did that night,
you'll jump,
and we will be together again,
forever this time.

I'm mad,
like the hatter...
and his mercury
(one must often wonder what mercury tastes like)
i need nothing but your touch,
amazing as it is.

Comments

[deactivated-28347834753]

I'm not a huge fan of the first verse, but the first four lines of the second just blew me away. (The last two are nothing special, to be honest, and don't make a lot of sense.) If your build on that imagery (focus on the mercury, perhaps?), this could really go somewhere.

[~Shadey Sam~]

Well it is different, yes some work could be used, but it can progress into something quite good.