EVERYWHERE EYES

• Artist: UC Poika
• Description: I like eyes. Here's a poem about them.
• Date: 03/18/2009
• Tags: everywhere eyes

EVERYWHERE EYES
by Just_Fn_Crazy


Eyes
eyes everywhere
green eyes, blue
brown and bloodshot
eyes, all staring.
Lost and lonely eyes
hungry for love
longing for passion,
excitement, pleasure,
or even pain.
Unfeeling eyes
of people without
feelings, feeling their way
through the inner spaces,
haunting my visions.

Stop and think,
are the stars we watch,
watching us watch?
Heaven’s eyes?
God’s eyes?
The Universe wondering
what we will do next?

Standing still in silence
eyes all around us
on a hill with a halo
about the motionless moon.
Eyes . . . everywhere eyes . . .
I see you.

Comments

[rocko11091]

respectfully disagree with syxx and shadow...
the poem is simply a channel for the emotion of the person reading it....
I really like the concept of this poem...nice touch, and (depending on how you read it) a good flow as well...might want to work on style a bit but other than that no major criticism...
Concept: 5/5
Flow: 4/5
Style: 3/5
Figurative language/imagery: 4/5
Overall:4/5

[FuriazFTW]

My review of this poem is pretty similar to shadowofaprincess. And, once again... you've got potential, but you sound more 'scientific' then 'emotional.' It sounds repetitive, like it came out of a textbook rather than out of actual life, you know?

[Angelus Prime]

I like eyes to friend biggrin

[missmapleleaf]

Not a bad start. However, it's too wordy and I think that it could be more powerful if you made the first stanza a little shorter. "Unfeeling eyes/ of people without/ feelings,..." is kind of repetitive. That said... I like it. 3/5