Love

• Artist: lil4fingers
• Description: I wrote this poem a while back and still feel the meaning is true.
  
  P.S: bequeath means to give or given
• Date: 07/16/2008
• Tags: love advice

There's something people search for,
some look for it forever.
And while some of us my find it,
some of us won't ever.

You know the feeling when you look
deep into their eyes.
No matter how hard you try to tell them
in your many failed tries.

You tried to tell them during class
and tried after school.
But somehow you always ended up
looking like a fool.

So here's advice bequeath to you
people reading this.
"Finding love can be the hardest thing...
but feeling love is bliss."

Never give up.

Comments

[La Cerise Noire]

well.......i cnt exacyly agree with it...and it IS a bit cheesy, but other wise, pretty decent

[HUMIDIFIER]

this collection of words (poem? hardly.) is unoriginal and disappointing to read. there are little errors here and there that show a lack of process or thought put into this collection of words, which further sullies this piece. the last line is laughably bad. there is no positive criticism i can give this because there are no ideas that can redeem it. it doesn't seem to be too painfully forced into rhyming, but it's so cheesy i could spread it on a cracker.

[Pain-Killer 4 Dead Angels]

Um- You asked me to vote so I'm not
gonna crack a smile- It's what I see everywhere,
it's not much different- I don't see sparks in it.
But the rhyming is pretty good- and good job on pointing out
the main points. So your reader is not confused.

[Boots in the rain]

with a little cratiqueing (i spelt it way wrong)
it would be an awsome little song *two thumbs up*

[The Skech Artest]

nice

[RogueChemist]

thats so sweet!

[Cathedral Az]

Ooh! Very nice. So true,