For lack of something better

• Artist: Julia Dream
• Description: To break the monotony of poems about broken hearts and tears of blood, here's something a little fun.
• Date: 10/28/2008
• Tags: lack something better

Spinning, twirling, acrobatic
and that's not how it goes
tripping, tilting, systematic
quick erratic shows

falling, failing, faintly flailing
a little high and lots of low
wishing, wanting, forever daunting
ready, here we go!

It's not right, something's amiss
seal it with a single kiss
of death, of life, of steel resolve
of wrongs forgotten, sins absolved
and still suspicion looms so near
is that a break in flow I hear?
The rhythm's off its steady beat
it's different from its last retreat
this construction is lost again
this rhyme seems an awful strain
this line's too short
and this one is far, far too extensive
and is this one needed?
is this tone a little pensive?
But pensive, poems are
they're thinking, thoughtful things
like shoes and ships and sealing wax
like cabbages and kings!
Oh, I'm sure those lines are copy-written
and I've no intention to offend
dear, departed Lewis Carroll
which from whom those lines were penned
and was that last line proper?
I'm sure that's not the case
chalk it up to poetic license
as they're rather fitting in their place
and I know that you are thinking
this poem's gone on rather long
and I'm sure that your observations
are far from being wrong
but, with which to end this ranting ramble,
I can't find a fitting line --
oh, wait I think I've got it.

Yes, this one will do just fine!

Comments

[miss-monotony]

Amazing vocabulary

[beachballer3]

I tried to make it song like. Like in a movie where someone's lost their memory and they start to remember but then it fades again you know and az uzual Amazing smile biggrin razz

[Julia Dream]

It's capitalized where it's meant to be capitalized - at the beginning of each sentence. After all, even if you broke the sentence I'm writing into two lines, you wouldn't Randomly capitalize in the middle of it, would you?

[Only Becca]

It was hard for me to read, because of the way it's presented. Try capitalizing the first letter of each line to make it easier to read? Other than that - very funny. 5/5 for subject matter.

[Hyzenthlay]

Oh, my.
That was quite amazing. Some how I knew that was Lewis Carroll without ever remembering reading that specific line. It's a very quick beat while you read, like you're just bouncing along.
5//5
C:

[Belle Corvus]

Very, Very well written. Thanks for a break in monotony. I loved reading it, made me laugh. Everyone needs a good laugh now and then. Thanks.

[The Great White Death]

This poem is totally baller! 5/5.