To be honest with you all, I never wanted to be Gay. Growing up in a Catholic, Republican family, was hard enough. Then, to place the topping on the cake of coming out to my family was the last straw. At the age of 13, I knew I was changing, in personality, in activites, and the lot. From time to time, I thought that things would just change, and change for the better. Apparently, I was wrong. I went to Church, under protest, and went to my Fathers meetings with the Republican Party members...hell, I even became a representative of the Young Republicans of America! All that was not who I was. I was this little child, wanting to be free from all the turmoil, and destructive criticism. Yet, I was stuck.
Walking home one day, after being called names, I finally decided that I had had enough. I turned aroun, and marched straight home. I threw open the door, and yelled at the top of my lungs, that I was Gay. My Father was the first to barge in. He pummeled me with questions, and blank stares that would make anyone break down. Then my Mother. Of all people to not accept me. Of all the people to be ashamed of me. The only thing I could do was sit there and listen to everything my Father had to say, as my Mother prayed for me, over and over again.
The next day, my life turned for the worse. Worse than that experience above? Yes. My parents being of sound mind, and heart, decided to send their only child to a "Center for Abesent Minded Adolescents". No joke, that was the name of the Center. In actual reality, it was a center for people like me, that wanted to be helped. The only problem was, I saw no issues with who I was.
The minute I walked into the Center, people had these blank faces. Like they were drained of all hope, and love. I told myself right then and there, I was not about to be brain washed. The Counselor of the Center, decided to take me into a great hall like room, that had a few people scattered here and there. It seemed this was an Introduction Ceremony. I saw kids with parents, some without. My parents could not bear to step inside, so I was one of those without. The lady began to speak, and the minute she did, I cringed. Her voice was like a cry from a dying cat. It shrilled through the empty room. It was horrible. When all was said and done, and she proclaimed us as "sinners", we were assigned roomates, and were to be pared with the same sex. Now, at that moment, I thought that was a pretty stupid thing to do if they were trying to cure us from this. But, later on, I learned that it was for the better, because if some actually did get brain washed, they didnt want intercourse to occur.
To make a very long, and drawn out story short, I left on my own accord, and ran away from that Center. I never looked back. I moved in with my sister, and she took care of me. What a life.
I want to let all of you out there who think you might be, or those who are Gay, trust yourself, and do not let your guards down. If you love you for who you are, then that is all that matters. You do not need to have anyone tell you that you are beautiful to be so, nor do you need to be told to do something, if you do not want to do it. (IE. Changing who you are...not something your parents tell you to do with regards to chores and the like.)
Life gets easier as we go on, and to tell you the truth, I would not change anything that has happned to me now. If I knew then, how I would be living now, I would do it over and over again.
"Trust Yourselves, For You Are Beautiful, And Your Worst Critics"
heart Amelia Rose DeGat heart
