• The story of being Gossamer
    Leer, her majesty
    Darkness surrounds us now as I lie dead and she cries. I watch as her soft, black locks frame her pained face. Her crystal blue eyes are wet with tears. How long have I watched her cry over my dead body. Hours, days, years? I don't know, nor does it matter. I am either dead or insane. It doesn't matter to me anymore. I can't be with her, either way. I was ordinary, before she came along. So why should I care about anything if she can't fold into my arms anymore. My life has no meaning without her now. She slowly shuts down, becoming a small, curled-up mass beside my body. Leer, her majesty, is grief-stricken. The feeling of empathy and compassion swells in my new manifestation. I don't even know what I am anymore. And then it hits me. The smack of body-on-pavement I heard last. Her screams, his guilty breath, my fearful gasp as I see my life flash, but it is just a face and a passionate, loving kiss. I hold on to the feeling as I an hurtled through space, time, and death. I can't be alive anymore, so what does that make me? A ghost? That can not describe the feeling of being frozen in time or the feeling of eternal death. I can still feel of her lips lingering on mine, her surprise and her fear emanate from her pale face. I am confused by her choice of me, over everyone else at Winger high. And now, as I see her pain, I walk to her. She doesn't see or even notice me until I curl beside her. I am in love with her. The bloody pool I lay in doesn't bother me, for it is my blood and I can't feel it. But Leer fixates on it, and that is when I see my reflection in the red pool. I am almost as pale as her even though I was a tan Californian. My sandy-blond hair is a new, sleek black wave cascading down my head. My hazel eyes are a new shade of crystal blue to match Leer's. The only thing that I can recognize is my wing-shaped birthmark on my neck. But there is another new mark that looks like the wing of a bat. As I stare in astonishment, she stares, too. She sees me, or at least my reflection.

    Sunburst of darkness consumes us all
    A white light startles us both. I roll out of the pool and I am no longer visible. She doesn't seem to notice, anyway, because I see the fury build in her eyes as she glares menacingly David. We both resent him for what he did to me. That is when I see my mangled, bloody mass of a body. I reach out too touch it. I am suddenly flung into it. I scream and writhe in extreme, excruciating pain. Leer snaps her head in my direction, and David does the same. Leer rushes to my side as I squirm out of her arms like a child. She tries to comfort me as I fade, slowly but surely. She finally quieted into a soft, melodic sob. I softly sing into her ear. Her sobs strengthen and become a stream of tears and jagged breaths. “It will be alright, I will always be with you, no matter what.”She softens her breaths and whispers “I know you can't” “I always will be.” I can feel myself being ripped out of my old self. I can't even mutter one word before I am thrust into death once more. She convulses as David lays a hand on her exposed shoulder. “Don't TOUCH Me!” she shrilly screams at him. He shrinks back, as if she cut him with a blade. He slowly regains his footing and softly says “He isn't there, is he in yours?” “How can you talk so lightly after you rip my heart you b*****d!? You think I could leave him like this!? I gave up everything for him! You knew that he wouldn't come back this time! This was your jealousy and greed! I HATE you. After you left me, I MOVED ON, WHY CAN'T YOU!” “I had to, it was orders, I could never love you, you seem to be drawn to relationships that can't last.” I am standing next to Leer, confused and unnoticed until I shuffle my feet against the ground and they turned towards me slowly. I freeze as if they can see me and I was ease-dropping. I suddenly felt self-conscience and was still surprised at my shear paleness. I gasp and she gasps with me and softly whispers “Oh my god, you didn't lie.” “Why would I?”. David is confused and he says “What the ******** is going on?” Leer ignores him and just stares at the pool of blood I am standing in. It is as if I was made for Leer's temptation.

    Temptation of the devil's compassion and power
    Then David staggers back, astonished as much as I am. Leer stared as if she was seeing a ghost. Leer was a demon and 'Lucifer's best demon could not love a mortal! He is repulsed by the very thought!' Leer informed me later. 'Our love was something he could not stop, though, so he embraced it as to make me stronger.' His plan was to turn me by using Leer. When the heavens caught wind of this, they sent David to kill me. I am sucked into a black hole under my feet and am thrust into a mildew-y smelling hole. As the lights fade I hear one shrill scream “NO!”. Then utter silence. A faint red light comes rushing towards me from a distance. As I fall closer, I can make out the distinct shape of a red eye, followed by long, black claws. I am fearful for my life but then I realize 'I am dead, how can anything kill me?'. This misconception almost destroyed my soul.
    Claws of promises with the devil; turn for the devil
    He grabs me in between two of his large talons. “Do you truly love her?” “Of course I do, why do you think I am agreeing to do this?” I know he knows I want to agree because I love her. If only it will not kill her love for me. I am thrust upward, into a shimmering meadow. Green trees are in a round circle trimmed by short, flowery bushes, some bearing berries. I heard a painful scream in the distance. That is when I notice I am off the ground, but I am not transparent, as I was before. I have wings that look like a bat's wings, slowly beating, barely grazing the grass. I knew that this was a product of joining Him. I am still admiring their shimmering glow when I hear a soft sob and running footsteps approaching. I hide behind a thick oak as I feel my new wings retracting into my shoulder-blades. “How could he!” “He had to try and at least it was for the greater good, Lucifer had to kill him for denying him.” I hear David say comfortingly, “His sacrifice was honorable” I guessed that David was lying to Leer but why? To get her to love him again? To keep her from going back to Him? I do not know, but all I do know is he is lying to her. “I have to tell The Throne, okay? I will be back soon, don't do anything stupid.” I am astonished he is leaving her there, alone, heart-broken. I have to stifle the incredible urge to run to her and savor her embrace. A burning sensation in my back makes the urge stronger, harder to contain. I clench my fists tightly and let one, innocent whimper escape. Leer shot upward, letting her wings fill the meadow as I stare in astonishment. A notice the same bat-wing mark on her neck. Unconsciously, I touch my matching scar. I see her staring in my direction, not really focusing on one thing. A twig snaps under my foot and she looks straight at me but she doesn't seem to see me. I feel as if there is a magnetic field, pulling me towards her. I am to the breaking point when she floats gracefully down and sits on a log and sobs. I slump against the tree and sob with her. Only when David returns do I silence myself, as to not let him know I am here. “They won't let you return!” “WHAT?!?! I DESERVE TO RETURN, HOW COULD THEY!!!!” I am so pissed that she would turn after I gave up my soul! But that is when I remembered, she thought I was killed by the devil. Why would she want to follow him anymore? David probably knew I was there and I saw him give me a glance of shear hatred. I couldn't take it anymore. I silently open a portal to my new dwelling and take the leap of faith. Silently and unknown, I leaves the two.
    The dusty hell-dwelling
    I falls out in a cabin far in the woods. There is dust everywhere and the fridge is empty. “Damn-it I have to go to the store.” I want to stay as far away form people as I can. I hear a loud rapping on the wooden door and open it. I am thrust downward and I hear David yelling “IMPOSTER! IMPOSTER” as he thrust a silver arrow into my chest. Leer is standing over me but she looks into my eyes. I can actually see my old, normal self separating from me as a demon in the reflection of her eyes. She runs to my side as I am in pain, squirming in and out of her arms. My body disintegrates in her arms. Again, I am sucked into a musty hole but I hold on for a second, just long enough for Leer to grasp the place where my hand is.
    Hell placings repeated
    Lucifer seems angered at David for killing me. “What, do I have to watch over you 24/7? Can't you handle yourself?” “I don't know how he found me. He just came out of no-where! What am I supposed to do? Ignore the door and make the humans suspicious? You put me in an area where demons are as believable as the sky being blue! I can't risk people getting suspicious and finding my past!” “Fine, you want a loft in New York? A condo in Cali? An apartment in Chicago? You run the risk everywhere.” “If I am surrounded by thousands, one face won't stick out in a crowd. And it would be next to impossible for David to jump me again.” I hear a low, guttural growl but he knows I'm right. There is one problem, though. This is leading a murderous immortal into the mass public. David in N.Y., I shutter at the very thought. Anyway, we both know if I don’t change, David will find me. I don’t know what happened, but I wake up in an ocean veiw apartment. I will die here, forever.