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"Why didn't you tell me?" Edward Elric's soft voice reverberated in the small, white, room, shaking as he held back non-existent tears. His golden eyes were fixated on the dark haired man lying in the hospital bed in front of him. Riza Hawkeye stood behind him, her head bowed as she listened. The room smelled of chemicals, and the only sound breaking the silence was the beeping of a heart monitor and the slow drip of an IV before another voice spoke.
"I… I didn't want you to know, I didn't want to scare you." Roy Mustang looked down into his lap as he heard Edward take a sharp breath.
"But now, now you're… I don't want to lose you!" Edward looked at Roy, waiting for him to look up, but the only response the older man gave was coughing.
"Why… we could have saved you…" Roy looked up and quickly glanced at Riza before smiling sadly at Edward.
" No. What I have… it can't be cured. Not with medicine, not with alchemy. I've been destined to die since the day they diagnosed me." One tear slipped down his cheek as he spoke, and Edward's eyes widened.
"You can't die! You're all I have!" Edward paced to the side of Roy's bed that was less cluttered with machines, and one tear slipped down his cheek as he remembered all the other people he had lost in the short time he had been alive. In eighteen years he had lost his parents and his only brother, and now the only person he had ever loved was being taken from him also. The feeling of one of Roy's hands reaching up and touching Edward's face brought him back to reality, as well as the sound of Roy's voice.
"Shh, Edward. I'm sorry, but it's my time. You have to go on." He smiled up at the blonde, but only received a glare in return.
"You, you were supposed to get to the top! You were supposed to become President… not end like this!" Edward's voice rose to a yell as he spoke and Roy looked surprised for a second, but than only smiled again.
"Please Edward, you can move on without me." Roy looked down into his lap as he finished his sentence.
"You don't need me." Edward gasped and gritted his teeth hearing what the other man had said. He glanced at Riza, still standing with her head bowed, before gripping the collar of Roy's hospital gown and speaking again, in a loud, rough, whisper.
"I don't need you? I don't need you? You're everything I need! You're everything I have left!" Roy lifted one hand up and gently pushed away Edward's as he spoke.
"No, I'm not Ed. You deserve better than me. Better than some old military dog almost twice your age." Roy felt warm tears fall from Edward's eyes onto his face and chest and he closed his eyes, a monotone expression on his face.
"Edward, don't cry over me." Roy wiped Edward's tears off his face as he spoke.
"Remember, you're better than me, and without me here, you can become great, I'm all that's holding you back." Edward closed his eyes and shook his head before responding verbally.
"No, you're wrong. You're the person pushing me forward, you helped me get to where I am, from the day I committed the taboo, the day I lost my arm and leg, you kept me going and got me to where I am now. I'm as far as I'll ever be if you leave me alone now." Roy finally snapped as he heard this, and yelled up into Edward's face.
"Where exactly are you, Edward? Hmm? Without me, you could be higher than you are now, higher than me, higher than everyone! You will go on. I know." Edward leaned back and his hand swung heavily back to his side, his head dropping, causing his hair to fall over his face.
"No. I won't be able to keep going. Can a balloon keep flying once it's lost the air the keeps it up? No, I'll fall without you; I'll sink lower and lower, until I fall completely out of life, until I'm no one, with nothing left. You're all that keeps me up." Roy's hand snapped up, and this time he was the one holding Ed by the collar, pulling him closer so their faces were inches away again.
"No, Edward. You must go on. I need you to promise me, that, once I'm gone, you will not quit on life. You hear me? You need to keep going. I need you to promise that much to me." Edward growled and Roy could feel his lover's breath on his face as the blonde spoke.
"How. How can I promise anything like that to a person who has given up on their own life, someone ready to willingly die?" Roy narrowed his eyes as what Edward had said registered in his mind and his voice came out in a harsh whisper.
"I have to die, Edward, understand. I have always known that this day would come someone, I never knew when, just that it would, but I promised myself that, even if I had to die, I would live a life that was worth living, that I would life it to its fullest, and I did just that. I fulfilled my promise to myself, and does that sound like giving up?" Roy glared up at Edward, but his expression changed when he saw the younger man was crying again, and that the sound of his voice was choked with tears.
"W-what else can I call it? You're l-leaving me… I'll disappear without you… you're all I have… Roy… how can this be happening?" Roy sighed and let go of Edward's collar, his hand falling over the edge of the hospital bed mattress.
"Things happen for a reason, Edward. If that epidemic had never swept the country, if your mother had never died, where would you be right now? Not here, I can tell you that." There was a sharp crack, and Riza winced, forgotten, when she saw Edward slap his flesh hand across Roy's face. There was a long silence afterward, and Roy still had a surprised look on his face as Edward spoke.
"Al would still be here… I would have my arm and leg… and… who knows… you might not be dying." Edward said those last words with an emphasis, and Roy regained his composure.
"No, Edward. I would still be dying, but you wouldn't know it, you wouldn't know me, I would be dying alone in this room. Alone, Edward."
"Yeah, but guess what, Roy? You're not! You're not alone, people care about you! I care about you!" Roy looked up at Edward, who was, now, grasping his shoulders with both hands. He seemed like he was finally breaking, and tears were silently running down the older man's cheeks.
"Yes, and I care about you. I… I have been fighting this disease for so long, but, now, this is it. This is the end, but, at least, you're here with me. I don't think you know how much that means to me." Roy's voice was starting to choke up from tears, and that was all it took, Edward broke down in uncontrollable sobs, throwing himself onto Roy and sobbing into his chest.
"…R-Roy… I…" Roy wiped tears from his face, but not stopping them, before laying a hand on Edward's head and running his fingers over the long blond hair.
"Shh, let it out, Edward, just let it all out, I'm right here…" And for the next ten minutes, they laid there, Edward with his arms wrapped around Roy, and Roy with one hand on Edward's head, and the other on his back, before Edward finally got control of himself, and stood up, eyes red, and hands shaking. He wiped tears from his eyes, stains running down his cheeks, and whispered, just loud enough for Roy to hear.
"You can't give up on me, you can't. Try, just, keep living. Try for me, Roy." And Roy smiled as he spoke.
"I won't. I'm not giving up, Edward." But those were the only words he could get it before a coughing fit overtook him, racking his body, and staining his hands in blood. Edward gasped and froze for a moment before grabbing the alert button and fumbling with it in his hands, taking a minute before he could finally get enough control of his shaking hand to press his thumb on the red button, depressing it enough into the white square of plastic to start a beeping noise, telling him a nurse was on their way, and Edward dropped the button.
Roy was still coughing the minute later, but what seemed like ages, as a woman in a white nurses outfit ran into the room, and without any words to either Edward or Riza, took a syringe and drove it into Roy's arm.
After a couple of minutes, Roy's coughing had calmed down, and Edward hands were shaking less. Roy swallowed before he spoke, in between more, smaller, coughs.
"Edward… I'm okay, it's okay…" Edward sighed and his hands dropped from his head to his side, but his voice was rough when he spoke.
"Roy, you're dying… how is that okay?" The nurse put one hand on Edward's shoulder before Roy could respond.
"He'll be fine for now, Mr. Elric. No worries." But instead of leaving, she went over to stand by Riza, which made Edward feel slightly worried but reassured at the same time. Roy smiled up at Edward.
"See? I'm fine." But Roy could see that Edward's eyes were welling up with tears again, and he held his arms out, beckoning his lover closer. Edward fell into Roy's arms and hugged him back, crying into his shoulder.
"It's not… damn it…" Edward spoke in between tears, but the older man quieted him with soothing noises.
"It is okay, Edward. I'm here with you right now, nobody can take me away from you, and nobody can take you away from me. I'm losing this battle, Edward, but I won't give up. I'll try to hold on, I promise you that." Edward tilted his head up so it was still rested on Roy's chest, but he could look at him, and he smiled up.
"No, you made it through Ishval, you made it through so many fights, you'll make it through this. You will win." Roy leaned his head down and rested his forehead on Ed's, whispering so only his lover could hear.
"Just keep saying that. If you do that, maybe I will make it through, maybe it will happen…" Edward reached his automail hand up to the side of Roy's head and ran his fingers through the silky raven hair.
"It will… I know it will…" But even than, at that moment, Roy's eyelids started to flutter open and closed, drifting in and out of consciousness, and his breathing started to become slow and erratic. Edward's eyes flew wide open and he pushed himself up off of Roy. He glanced back and forth between Roy and the nurse, who had rushed over and was hurriedly going through supplies.
"Help! No! Roy!" Edward watched as the man's breathing stopped and the heart monitor let out a long droan, a flatline. The nurse stood up and frantically put an oxygen mask over Roy's mouth and nose, but they all knew it was too late, and, with the last of his strength, Roy pushed it away to speak.
"Ed-Edward… I-I Love yo-" But his last words were cut short as his eyes dilated and he fell forward into a screaming Edward's arms.
"NO! ROY! DAMN IT, NO, YOU CAN'T LEAVE! YOU PROMISED! YOU JUST SAID!" Sobs racked Edward's body and his voice was muffled.
"I-I love you, Roy! Damn it! N-not n-n-now!" The nurse gently laid her hand on Edward's shoulder once more, trying to get him to let go of Roy's now empty body, her voice shaking.
"Mr. Elric, please, I'm afraid… I'm afraid he's gone… we couldn't save him…" Riza had also rushed over by now, she was holding one of Roy's hands, and her eyes were red, her expression one of complete shock. Both she and the nurse gasped when they saw the crazed expression on Edward face as he looked up at them and started to laugh hysterically.
"No… h-he's not g-gone… h-he promised… not d-dead… he w-wouldn't b-break his p-promise… d-don't lie to m-me… h-he's j-just fine… r-right?" The nurse let go and backed away from Edward as she spoke, her head bowed.
"I-I'm sorry… he's gone… I'll leave you alone." And with that she quickly left the room, with a completely scared look on her face. Riza walked over to Ed and grasped both his hands. She spoke between tears.
"Edward… I'm sorry but he's… gone. T-there's nothing we can do about it…" Edward looked at her with his crazed eyes and grabbed the collar of her military uniform, so much like the one Roy had worn.
"N-not… t-that's not f-f-funny… j-jokes are f-funny…w-what?" And than the crazed look was replaced by realization and Edward's body went limp, his hand falling to his side, and Riza swallowed.
"Roy is… g-gone, Edward… I'm… so sorry…" Edward stood up on shaky legs, his eyes directed not on Riza, kneeling on the floor, now, but darting around the room, as if searching for something.
"Al… Roy… y-you mean… everyone I ever l-loved is g-gone? They're all… gone." And suddenly Edward's eyes looked clear and he spoke without any pauses.
"They're waiting." Riza looked up at Edward, who was looming above her, still looking around the room, and gasped.
"Edward… they're all gone… nobody's waiting." But Edward only fixated his gaze on a drawer in the far corner of the room, as if in a trance.
"They're… waiting." He stumbled over to the drawer and started sifting through it, taking a moment before holding something up triumphantly. Riza's eyes widened and she gasped when she saw that it was a scalpel, shining in the fluorescent lights in the ceiling. She stood up and took a step in Edward's direction.
"Edward, please, put that down." She took another step, but froze as Edward lifted the knife higher into the air and started quietly laughing to himself, completely ignoring her.
"Don't worry… don't wait… any… longer… I'm coming." Riza's voice now quivered with panic, and she moved closer to the now insane blonde. She was only a few feet away from him and was reaching out her hand when he lowered the knife to right above his heart, still laughing.
"I'm coming." Riza lurched forward in a last ditch attempt to stop Edward, but she was too late. She felt warm blood splatter on her face and tasted its metallic tang. She saw the knife sticking out of Edward's chest as he fell to his knees, his arms at his sides, his face looking up as he spat out his last words in between blood.
"I'm… here…"
- by pocketusagi |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 12/02/2011 |
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- Title: The Red Balloon
- Artist: pocketusagi
- Description: Just a fanfic I wrote a while ago. Can also be seen here on my dA: http://aliceusagi-chan.deviantart.com/art/The-Red-Balloon-204434095
- Date: 12/02/2011
- Tags: balloon royed fanfic fullmetalalchemist
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