• I crawled under the cold bed sheets, sliding in next to him. His back was to me, his heavy breathing let me know that he had fallen asleep long ago. He didn’t have trouble sleeping like I did. I threw one of my legs over his and cuddled against his warm back. Anything to fight away the cold. I was always cold, but he was always hot so we had several fans in the room. Tonight they were on full blast. If I turned them off he would just wake up and turn them back on. It was best to just deal with it. Get under as many blankets as possible, and surround myself with him and pillows to block out the cold.

    I laid that way for probably an hour, just my thoughts and I. We hadn’t been together long. The almighty ‘L’ word hadn’t been used, even though I always rushed to say it. I wanted to be loved. I couldn’t tell if this time it was different because I was forcing myself to take things slow and natural, or if I didn’t feel for him the same way.

    My thoughts drifted off into a meaningless stream of nothing until my eyes fluttered shut and I floated toward dream land, toward a few hours of peace.

    He shifted in his sleep, and I jerked awake. I had started to feel warm in my few moments of sleep, so I pulled myself away from him and settled into the pillows, ready to drift away again. Still halfway asleep, he rolled over and pulled me back to him. I found myself wrapped in his arms, one of his legs over mine. He kissed me softly on the forehead before resting his head on mine and falling asleep again. I snuggled into the warmth of his body, wide awake again and recaptured by my previous thoughts.

    I’m happy, here in his arms. He takes care of me. Wrapped in the warmth of his arms, close enough to hear his slow heartbeat, I could almost relax. Perhaps this isn’t where I’m meant to be forever, but it’ll do for now.