• Thoughts of a Room

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    A door slammed and a muffled 'oomph' sounded throughout the room. The door moaned. "That girl is going to knock me off my hinges one of these days, I swear." From below, the door heard an arrogant scoff.

    "You think you've got it bad?" the floor challenged. "Try holding everything in the room all the time! I think I might even be permanently damaged - scuffs and stains all over the place. Teenagers these days have no respect, I tell you." The floor grunted indignantly. "I remember, back in the shop, us in the flooring section would tell stories. The more expensive rugs would go on and on about lying in fancy dining rooms, hotels, and mansions, but never did they mention having the bear the weight of a teenage girl's room and all the crap she insists on keeping in it! I don't even want to think about the fingernail polish stains..."

    The wall, who had listened with an unsympathetic air, tutted. "Aw, life's so hard for you isn't it? I'd gladly hold up a room. I'm stuck with the whole house. Now stop talking - you're beginning to sounds like 'Mr. Thousand Words' over there."

    "Excuse me!" The poster interjected loudly, "I'm a picture! I get a thousand words!"

    "As you remind us all the time." the wall snapped. The poster huffed.

    "Why, I tell you--!"

    "Then I get a million." the television said, effectively cutting off the poster. The wall hanging grunted, but did not disagree. The wall chuckled quietly to itself. Finally, that stupid poster had shut up. The wall was positive that if televisions could smirk, it would be doing so right then, extremely smugly, even.

    The bed yawned. "How many words do I," It yawned again. "Get?"

    "Quiet!" hissed the ceiling light. "She's coming back!"

    The door opened again, slamming into the wall, both of which had to restrain grunts. The girl stopped and glanced around. "Must've been the cat.." she dismissed, and went back to business. Everything remained still as the girl grabbed a bag off the dresser and left again, the bag whispering its goodbyes.

    "Speaking of the cat." the bed said testily between yawns, "That darn thing is annoying! Do you know how much fur is permanently infused with my blankets?" The whole room murmured in agreement. The window spoke up:

    "It's always sitting on me and looking outside! Have you ever had cat butt in your face for hours on end? Not pleasant!"

    "I don't have to deal with that." the wall poster commented smugly. "I'm up here."

    "I can change that." the wall threatened. "One little shake and hello kitty!" The furniture chuckled. Too long had they had to listen to the stupid poster's bragging about its location and content - some 'handsome pirate' or other.

    The wall clock, who had been silent until then, spoke up, "Well, I'd say I still have it a bit worse than you, Window. I have to listen to myself tick all day. You couldn't even imagine the migraines."

    "I feel for ya!" the alarm clock piped up brightly, "But I think I may have it a bit worse, wouldn't you agree?"

    "Hm, yeah, I guess." the wall clock admitted.

    "And I'm always suffering from heat stroke," the ceiling light added sourly. "I suppose being in a room is easy enough. We get to sit here all day and do nothing, but it does have its bad points, no matter what you are."

    The furniture mumbled its agreements. The door opened again, and the girl re-entered with an armful of laundry. She dropped it in the hamper before exiting again, closing the door behind her.

    "Hmm..." pondered the wall, "I think the hamper has it the worst."

    The furniture once again agreed over the sounds of the poor hamper's gags and retches.
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