• “Pause,” he told it and it did. I smiled as I saw the Sin City box beside the screen.

    “Wow, they did have it.” Ryder turned around and looked at me. His eyes traveled down and up a couple times and I smirked. Maybe I could get him to kiss me.

    “Um,” he said shaking his head a little.

    “Yes?” I asked with a grin.

    “Nothing, um, er, I got popcorn and sodas,” he said finally looking at my face. He didn’t look so bad himself. He was wearing a nice pair of dark jeans with a band t shirt. Not bad. The t shirt clung places I wish I could see closer.

    “Great,” I said with a smile.

    He had made the bed up so it was stacked with pillows and blankets. It looked so comfy! Man, how I wish I was back home in my own bed. Then there was a table with snacks of all kinds of it. I climbed up onto the bed and got my foot caught around a blanket and struggled to get it out as I prayed Ryder wouldn’t turn around and see me ungracefully trying to rip my foot from the tangled blanket. I groaned and pulled free just as he turned around and looked at me. I smiled but it wavered. He gave a short nod and turned back around. I sat down and crossed my legs. Jeez, can I be more spastic? Oh gosh, I can’t believe I’m acting like the girls at school I make fun of! The ones who say ‘oh I can’t live without my boyfriend! I would die!’ and I would just say ‘you’ll live, it’s not the end of the world’ but now, I was worried I wouldn’t make him like me. In other words, I’m screwed.

    “Okay, it’s ready. I’ll be right back,” he said and grinned at me before trotting off around the corner.

    “Ryder!” I called wondering where he was going. I jumped as the back lights of the store went out, leaving me in darkness. “Ryder?” I whispered.

    “It’s not so bad.” I jumped and turned to see Ryder striding toward me with a flash light in his hands smiling warmly. “The front lights are still on, don’t get all upset.”

    I laughed, “Whatever.”

    He grabbed two sodas from the table and brought me one. He sat down next to me and cracked it open. I smiled as I watched his jaw work as he took a sip. I want to nibble on—“Man, I wish there was a ball game on,” Ryder muttered taking me out of my trance. I blinked and pressed my lips together. “Play,” Ryder said and the TV started to play.

    I sat back a little and Ryder put his long lean legs in front of him and crossed them at the ankles. He wasn’t wearing socks. I averted my eyes from Ryder before I started to drool and watched the big giant screen that made you feel like you were actually there. It started off with a beautiful girl in a red dress. Everything was black and white besides the dress and her red lips. I watched as the boy came up to her and pledged his love. Then, as they went into a deep lustful kiss…he shoots her. I flinched and Ryder chuckled beside me.

    “I always hate that part,” I whispered.

    He nodded, “But the actions cool.”

    I laughed. So, this was turning out okay…

    So, you know the awkward sex sense movies have. And sometimes, you’re sitting next to your first boyfriend, your mom, your dad, you’re brother or sister. It’s just…kind of awkward, ya know? (Gay Baby) Well, that’s sort of how this was. Ryder shifted a little. I almost laughed but decided not to. When it was over I couldn’t help but look over at Ryder. He was calm and cool looking, like always. I looked at his lips and realized how close we were. Our shoulders were touching and are arms were almost over lapping each other’s. He didn’t seem like it bothered him.

    I took a deep breathe. Ryder looked down at me and I blushed a little and looked down. Ryder chuckled and tapped his finger under my chin so I would look up. I did. His eyes sparkled a purple gray…My stomach fluttered. His face turned from playful to serious and before he could turn away, I whispered,

    “Kiss me,” his eyes glowed with lust and I licked my lips. I leaned up inviting him. And then…his lips just lightly brushed mine sending a shiver down my body. His lips felt silky and sweet. I pressed further in trying to make it a full kiss. Before I knew what happened he pulled away, his face blank.

    “No,” he whispered. “I have to go to bed.”

    Anger floored in me. I stared at him, mad.

    “What?” I said. He looked away and wouldn’t look me in the eyes. I got off the bed and stomped away. I was mad! He just dismissed me! Just like that! He barely even kissed me! Did I not kiss that well? Am I that bad? I didn’t care! F*ck him! He can go screw himself! I ran back to the art supplies and fell down onto the little bed I had made. I was to mad to cry. I wouldn’t for him. He’s not worth it. I stared at my white paper and decided the only way to get this anger out is to paint. So I did.

    I used sharp strokes and sometimes muttered curses at the paper. It was filled with red, black, dark purple and colors that expressed how I felt. But somehow, a little white came to the middle of the painting but I didn’t know why. I still can’t believe he said no and pushed me away…