• Chapter 1

    I woke up on the morning of my eighteenth birthday thinking it would be a day like any other. I was so wrong.
    Usually my parents would be up before me, but today it was already ten and the house was quiet. My cat Tod was at my feet asleep. I quietly got out of bed and went to my parent’s room. The door was shut. I knocked and waited a few seconds for them to respond. Nothing. Had they forgotten today was my birthday? Feeling hurt and a little worried I started to open the door. Something brushed up against my legs and I jumped. It was just Tod; he had followed me down the hall. With my heart pounding from the scare Tod had given me I continued to open the door.
    I immediately wished I hadn’t. I tried to scream, but I couldn’t. I tried to close my eyes, but I couldn’t. I tried to turn and run back to my room, get back into bed, and hope it was all a dream, but I couldn’t. I could just stand in the doorway and stare at my father’s massacred body. There was blood everywhere. My mother sat with her arms around her knees in the corner of the room. Her eyes were wide and her face covered in blood as she softly whimpered and I could see she was shaking. This was the most emotion I had ever seen from her. My eyes turned back to my father. His throat was slit and his eyes were gouged out. I couldn’t see where they were. I didn’t want to. I finally closed my eyes.
    When I woke up an officer was standing over me. I was lying on the couch and my mother was sitting on the loveseat. I sat up quickly. Too quickly. I lay back down as I felt a throbbing pain in my head. The policeman looked concerned. He muttered something I couldn’t hear and walked in the direction of the bathroom. He came back with a wet cloth and mumbling something else inaudible; handed it to me. I thanked him as I placed the cloth on my head and closed my eyes again. I just wanted this day to be over.
    Another officer asked my mother if she and I would come to the station to answer a few questions. Unfortunately for them, I had more questions myself than answers. I wondered what answers my mother had.
    She hadn’t spoken a word to me. Not that she ever talked much anyway. I’d always wondered if something was wrong with her. She never expressed any emotion and she only spoke when she was spoken to. Sometimes she seemed like an empty shell. I knew my parents hadn’t loved each other, and I didn’t see what they had even built their relationship on in the first place. I didn’t love them either. Strange, I know. But I can’t help the way I feel.
    My mother simply nodded at the officer, and then she did something I had never seen her do before. She looked at me, and she started to cry. I saw a light in her eyes I had never seen before. She took my hand and she said,
    “Everything will to be ok, Teufela.”
    Then she walked away after the officer. I was sitting up by this time. Everything seemed to be in slow motion. The investigators dusting for fingerprints and talking to the neighbors. The paramedic carrying a body bag out to the silent ambulance. An officer holding my mother as she broke down and sobbed. Everything was wrong. Everything.
    Tod jumped into my lap and purred. Seeing my mother’s emotion had finally shaken me to the breaking point. I held him close and cried into his soft black fur. Someone sat next to me and wrapped their arms around me. It was the mumbling officer. He looked maybe twenty, with soft blue eyes and tousled black hair. He looked genuinely concerned, not at all like the stony faced officers that were standing around. I felt grateful, and even managed a little smile. It didn’t last long. I started to cry again. He didn’t seem to care that I was getting his uniform wet. He just held me and let me cry on his shoulder.
    Later I wondered why I was crying so much. I had not loved my father. I had almost despised him. I knew that he had cheated on my mother. He never had a steady job. In fact, we were better off without him. I think what I was really mourning was the loss of stability. I feared the change his death would bring. I had never dealt well with change. I had lived my whole life in the same house. I knew we would move now. There was no way we were going to stay here.
    I had stopped crying and the officer helped me stand. He mumbled but I was so close to him that I could hear.
    “Come on, I’ll take you to the station.” Was all he said.
    He started to walk out to his car and I followed him. He opened the passenger door for me and shut it when I was in. He certainly was a gentleman. He got in and started the car. We sat in silence as he drove to the station.