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I was walking across the cracked and grey pavement.I turned, walking into an alley.I heard two guys mumbling.These were them. One man turned around,revealing he was blind.he shot straight through my chest.The bullet transported through my body,harmlessly.I turned around and picked it up.No blood was on it.The men scurried down the alley,frightened.I had been cursed for so long,I forgot what it was like to Love.
Kay Guys! Thanks For Reading! I will add more later!
- by humdudgeon |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 06/01/2010 |
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- Title: Bloody bullet.
- Artist: humdudgeon
- Description: Idk
- Date: 06/01/2010
- Tags: bloody bullet
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Comments (3 Comments)
- prettybluedresses - 06/20/2010
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It seems kind of all over the place. As much as I'm sure you would like to make the point that your character lacks the capacity for love, now is not the time to do it. It implies that he should feel love for the bullet or the men in the alley.
Also, the fact that the man is blind is irrelevant unless he is a major character previously introduced. - Report As Spam
- humdudgeon - 06/01/2010
- Yea what?
- Report As Spam
- cali_swag - 06/01/2010
- yea i guess
- Report As Spam