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He retrieved his sword and looked at the destruction around him. No one else seemed to be on the verge of death, so he began to climb the stairs. He walked along the moonlit corridors looking around in case anyone else needed help. But no one seemed to be around. It was quiet up here away from the commotion of the main hall. He opened the door to his apartment and walked in, not bothering to lock it. He walked into his bedroom and began to drag his armour off, wincing as his injuries ached and stung. He pulled off his undershirt and cast around for a bandage as his cuts began bleeding again. Outside the horizon began to shine ruby red as the night finally came to an end. He began cleaning his wounds when he sensed he was being watched. He turned around.
Grace was standing by the door, a healing pack in her hands.
“You need some help?” She said, moving into the room. David turned back and shook his head. He looked out at the fiery skies of dawn.
“There are others who need it more Grace.” He said and began cleaning his wounds again. “Please don’t waste it on me.” Grace stepped forward into the warm orange glow of the sunrise.
“You look like you need it the most right now.” She said, “Besides you need to be ready for battle in a few days.” David glanced back over his shoulder.
“You really know how to lay on the charm don’t you?” he smiled slightly and turned back. “I’m not going to fight.” He said eventually. “I can’t. I’m too much of a threat.” He looked down at his hands, as if expecting them to become claws.
“I never said,” Murmured Grace, from just behind him. “Thank you.”
“For what?” David continued staring at the mark on his hand. Grace paused then stepped closer.
“When we were captured,” She paused. “When you were being… tortured. I felt your mind.” David looked up. “Do you remember?” he looked down again and shook his head.
“No, I’m sorry. I was unconscious, I can’t remember anything.”
Grace gazed at the back of his head, outlined against the rising sun. “I felt what you were feeling David. I know how you feel about me.”
Grace moved forward and placed a hand on his shoulder. He shuddered and tensed.
“Please don’t.” he whispered, his eyes closed. “Please.” Grace continued to wrap her arms around his chest. Holding herself against him. David sighed. “Please Grace, I don’t want to break your heart.” Grace rested her forehead on the back of his neck.
“Then don’t leave me.” She murmured “Stay here with me.” David shook his head sadly.
“I can’t Grace.” He said slipping his hands over hers and looking out of the window again. “Aren’t you afraid that I’ll fall again?”
“After what happened with Envar,” Grace breathed. “There’s nothing that’ll make me feel safer than being with you.” She nuzzled his shoulders and neck. They stood there for a while, letting the moments wash over them. Grace put her ear to David’s back, listening to the slow beating of his heart. David looked up out of the window; the sun was well up now. He turned around.
“Grace-” he began. She laid finger on his lips and looked into his eyes. She saw the fire that danced in there, the burning love that had saved her. She moved her face closer.
“Don’t say anything.” She whispered, running her hand back through his hair. “And it might just be alright.”
- by Chaos Raphael |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 02/14/2010 |
- Skip
- Title: Forbidden Love
- Artist: Chaos Raphael
-
Description:
This is another instalment of my novel. David has loved Grace for a while, but never told her, she finally found out when he saved both of them from captivity. However he is afraid to fall completely in love with her in case his darkness brings more harm to her.
Please comment, I really need feedback on this scene. (last constructive comment gets a prize;D)
If you like it, you can find other parts of the story elsewhere in the arena. - Date: 02/14/2010
- Tags: forbidden love valkiria fantasy
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Comments (3 Comments)
- d-Blaring_Melody-b - 03/11/2010
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oooh so intense ^_^
i havnt read the other scenes so no constructive criticism...yet ;D - Report As Spam
- -SV- Sirys Grimbone - 02/16/2010
- Nice dude. I've read fantasyscience fiction all my life and i must say this page or two leaves me wanting to read your book.
- Report As Spam
- zetsura - 02/16/2010
- Wow. Amazing. It's so vivid.You could use some work on your punctuation when it comes to quoting dialogue, but I just learned the key to that myself.;D. Great work.
- Report As Spam