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The days sort of just passed. Sometimes Mai-lynn got pretty emotional, but usually the hours were blank. She didn’t really think anything or feel much. Time just passed, for the most part all she did was watch TV.
It was exam week, so Joshua wasn’t with her as much as he wanted to be. He needed to study as well as go to school. While he did that, Mai-lynn vegged out in front of the television.
She should have been writing her finals as well, but the principal and the guidance counsellor decided it was in her best interest to write them the week before grade ten started.
So she had been given all summer to “figure things out” and study. Studying could easily be done right before the exam. As for her other task, she wasn’t entirely sure how she was supposed to do that.
Mai-lynn did her best not to think about it, at least not when she was alone. When Joshua was with her, she could accept her reality, a little bit.
For his easier exams, he spent the night with her and did some studying, but for most nights he stayed at home.
No matter how hard his exams were, Joshua was always with her for at least a few hours a day. They talked about a lot. Some of it was about everything that had happened, but whenever conversation got too deep he always found a way to lighten it up.
Joshua had been scared when he found her. They argued for a while about whether or not she needed a doctor. In the end Joshua just took care of her.
À
Friday came. The sound of Jamie’s voice woke her from a restless sleep. Mai-lynn mumbled a greeting to her friend, whom she had not seen since the night at The Club.
Jamie wrapped her arms around Mai-lynn as she sat up in bed, she did the same. They cried together like this for at least ten minutes before finally pulling apart.
Mai-lynn studied her friend through teary eyes. Her kind eyes were red and watery, luckily she had on no make up. She was dressed in all black. She wore dress pants and a shirt that didn’t show too much skin. Her blonde hair was pulled back into a neat bun. She did not look like herself.
Today, was her brother’s funeral. She really wasn’t sure what to think of that. Pain weighed down her heart and her mind felt weary and clouded.
Joshua had to write his last exam in the morning, so it was no surprise he had sent Jamie to be with her.
“Shower, I’ll make you breakfast and then we will get ready,” Jamie said sternly, making it clear none of that was an option.
À
They tried to keep talk light while they ate in the kitchen. Happy memories and encouraging words fell from their mouths.
Once that was over the two went to Mai-lynn’s bedroom to find her something to wear. Jamie took her hand and looked at her wrist. There was no doubt she had been informed of the suicide attempt.
Mai-lynn met her gaze. “I finally found my mother’s note,” she said.
Jamie simply nodded as she continued to explain what had happened.
“I was overwhelmed,” she went through the list of things she was thinking and what she had been feeling.
“They’d died because of him and I wanted to blame him for another death. When Joshua came in I realized I didn’t want to die, I just wanted to take it out on my father for everything he had done. I’m not suicidal.”
That was the truth. Mai-lynn was hurt but wasn’t ready to give in. She wanted to prove that despite the life she had been given she could be better. She knew Caleb had always tried telling her that.
À
The room was full of familiar faces. It was hot and stuffy. All she could smell were flowers and that distinct smell of a church.
Mai-lynn knew her grandparents had taken care of all the funeral arrangements. Her eyes looked at all her friends. They were trying to look their best, all cleaned up and dressed in dark, drab attire. She did her best to accept the words and gestures of sympathy that seemed to swirl around her.
Finally she found Joshua and attached herself to him. He made it a lot easier to stand and breathe in the crowded room.
A voice at the front asked for silence, saying it was time for the family and those closest to say goodbye before the casket was closed.
Joshua walked her to the front. Her heart pounded, she had been avoiding the casket since she had entered the church.
Once they’d made it to the small crowd, Joshua squeezed her hand and left to find a seat. Mai-lynn stood behind everyone, waiting her turn. There were only a few people around the casket, all blocking her view of the body. She saw her grandparents holding hands as they left her brother to take a seat.
There were two men in front of her. One was a friend Caleb had had since childhood, the other was a more recent friend.
After they had said their goodbyes, they turned to her and nodded respectfully before too taking a seat.
Mai-lynn inched her feet to the casket, finally able to see her brother. She sighed as her hand touched his face.
She was aware of the roomful of eyes on her back, she chose to ignore them. Caleb looked relaxed, at perfect peace. His pain was gone and he was free of all the stress he had once carried.
She reached into her purse and grasped her hand around a piece of metal. She took it out and looked at it one last time. It was the piece from the bottom of the angel. She already had the inscribed words memorized.
Gently she placed it in Caleb’s cold hand. Her lips fell to his forehead and a single tear slid down her face onto him
As she turned to leave her grandmother motioned for her to take a seat with them. Despite wanting to be with Joshua for the service, she forced her legs to where her grandparents sat. She took a seat on the pew between them. Her grandmother held her hand and her grandfather offered meaningless condolences.
The last time they had seen each other was at her mother’s funeral. They had never been around while she was growing up. All they ever did was give her mother money and tell her she was a fool. Once she died Mai-lynn had not once heard from them. She doubted she would hear from them again after this.
She watched as the casket was closed and a prayer was spoken.
À
The service passed by her. She had been up to speak but didn’t say much, she couldn’t get her words straight.
The things people said about her brother made her eyes water but she didn’t cry. Every word spoken about Caleb showed he had definitely been trying to take the right paths in life. He was a hundred times better of a person that their father ever was and probably ever would be.
While the preacher spoke a little about the afterlife she mostly looked to the painting of Jesus at the front of the church. Never once had Mai-lynn been to church as a child. She had only ever been in a church at her mother’s funeral and the funeral of a couple people she knew through school and friends. The only bits she heard about God was through friends as a child and funerals once she got older. She couldn’t help but wonder where the hell that loving guy had been during her life.
Mai-lynn was pleased to finally be out of the building and at the cemetery. The casket had been lowered and people were starting to leave back to their lives.
She looked into the hole and emptied the contents of her hand. Dirt fell onto the casket along with the glass wing. It was still stained with her blood.
She closed her eyes and felt Joshua’s hand clasp hers. The angel was supposed to protect Caleb, but it had broken. She hoped the wing could at least help Caleb wherever he was going.
As she opened her eyes she vowed silently to herself that she would make Caleb proud.
Joshua met her gaze and gave her a gentle smile.
“How are you doing?” he asked while they turned away from the open grave.
Before she could answer him, they ran into a man she didn’t recognize.
“Excuse me, ma’am, might I have a moment to speak with you?” he asked.
She nodded silently while she studied the man, trying to figure out who he was and if she knew him. He didn’t look much older than her own father. He had a clean cut, successful kind of look to him that her father lacked. The grey suit he wore made him look old and tired against the dreary sky.
“My name is David Tharwood,” he said offering his hand. Hesitantly, she let go of Joshua and shook his hand.
He then offered his sympathy about Caleb’s death. The words seemed genuine but still they floated right over her.
Mai-lynn thanked him and asked how he knew her brother. Joshua gently touched her arm, “I need to go make a call,” he whispered before heading to the parking lot.
She brought her attention back to David Tharwood, wondering what the man wanted.
“Anyway, I have only recently been in contact with your brother, Caleb. See, I knew your dad way back,” this shocked Mai-lynn. She was expecting to hear that he worked with Caleb.
“I work at a rehabilitation clinic-”
Mai-lynn was curious to see where this conversation was going but was distracted by the voice of her grandfather.
“He is a pathetic disgrace. I am ashamed to know that our daughter married such filth. He should not even be called a man, he did not dare show his face at his son’s funeral. Not to ment-”
Her grandmother hushed him as she met Mai-lynn eyes. “Oh darling!” the woman spoke in a kind tone, opening her arms to her granddaughter.
Anger danced across her face as she denied her grandmother. She wanted nothing more than to start yelling at her grandfather.
Where had they been? What had they done to help? What oh so righteous thing had either of them done in her life? They were just as useless as her father.
She felt a slight tear inside. She hated her father for his failures. But she was offended by her so called family talking about him like that.
“To my family, you did no better than him,” she said, looking her grandfather square in the eyes before turning away.
She felt her body shaking as she ran way from Caleb’s gravesite, entirely forgetting about the man she had been talking to.
She wanted to leave everything behind her. She wanted a fresh start at life. She knew nobody got one though. But she did want to keep moving forward. Mai-lynn felt the gravel of the parking lot crunch under her feet as she ran into his arms, she had grown so accustomed to over the past little while.
- by Smallville Roxz My Soxz |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 01/31/2010 |
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- Title: Chapter Seven: Moving Forward
- Artist: Smallville Roxz My Soxz
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Description:
This is for those who are keeping up with the story I've been posting. It took me a while to find time to keep writing but here it is. I haven't checked over it, so I promise mistakes will be present.
Thanks for reading. - Date: 01/31/2010
- Tags: chapter seven moving forward
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Comments (1 Comments)
- wildflower2828 - 02/02/2010
- This was a really good chapter. Her grandfather is somewhat of an a$$ in this chapter. Rehabilitation clinic? Cant wait to see where that leads to.
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