• Chapter 1: Masochism
    Today, Taylor came for a visit and once again, my day ended with despair. Unusual but despair. I can't bare to be near her. When I heard the doorbell ring, I knew it was her. Always getting her nose in what's none of her business. "Get the door, Jason!" My mom yelled from the storage closet in the kitchen. I don't want to get the door. Taylor's behind it. I just made out as if I didn't hear her and ran away to the back of the house. The doorbell rang again. "Jason? Jason?! Jason, can't you her the doorbell?" I heard my mother slam the door of the closet in the kitchen and heard her loud footstep towards the door. She flipped the thumb-turn latch and pressed the door handle. In came Mrs. Robinson and her daughter, that disgusting Taylor.
    "Oh Hi, Nancy." Mrs. Robinson said. "I brought some pie along for the tea." My mom and her were a having a tea party. Actually, Taylor isn't suppose to come. Like I said: getting her nose in what's none of her business.

    I don't know what happened next. There sounds faded since they left for the balcony. I was in the back of the house on the laundry room, hidding on the back of the washing machine. I sighed in relief: no matter what move or sound I made, no one would hear or see me. I stood up and wiped the dust out of my pants and dark hair feeling a hint of pride and cleverness within me.

    I was afraid, though. Taylor is probably wondering were I am. And to make it even worst, she's probably looking for me. If that were true, I couldn't risk going into the house. I opened the other door in the laundry and walked out to the backyard. If Taylor was inside the house, then I can go to the balcony along with mom. I'll just go around the house. I tip-toed near the walls and over the moist grass making sure the sound of the cracking autum leaves beneath my sneackers weren't too obvious. I meade sure I lowered my head when passing through the windows too. Damn that Taylor.
    "Hi, mom." I said as I jumped over the wall and sat next to her. "Sorry, I was in the bathroom so I didn't hear you."
    "If you didn't hear me, how did you know I was calling you?" She said with a grin as she took a sip.
    "(Shoots!)" I thought. "I-I just... heard my name in the eco." (What a pathetic excuse! In the eco? Ugh!) My mother chuckled.

    Apparently, Taylor wasn't around but she is in the house.
    "So Jason..." Mrs. Robinson said as she placed her cup down on the white wooden table. "How old are you now?"
    "I'm... twelve. I'm going to be thirteen in two days." As if she didn't know her daughter and I were of the same age. I mean, is this woman for real? She sees me every day when she drops her daughter at school. "Really?!" Mrs. Robinson shifted herself into a straighter position, with her back slightly curved as she leaned forward to hear better. As if I were gossiping with her. "Happy birthday! Why didn't you tell me you were going to have a party?"
    "Oh no, Wendy. Don't say such thing. Jason doesn't want a party. He would like a quiet day for himself." My mom explained as she dropped two (or was it three?) sugar cubes into her tea.
    "Oh no! That is unacceptable! I am going to throw you a party at my house in two days!" My mother rubbed her temples and mixed the sugar with a spoon on the cup. I'm the kind of person who get's pissed off easily. I like things when they are taken seriously and hate childish people... like Taylor.

    And so, with some exchanged words, Mrs. Robinson is throwing me party -Something I don't want-. All I wanted for my birthday was a quiet day at home were I didn't have to worry about Taylor coming or Mrs. Robinson's free spirit or mom being over protective. Sadly, it was all taken away... just because I answered a damn question.


    Let me tell you about me. I am the "I work alone" kind of person. My name is Jason Briggs and I am twelve to thirteen. I like silence and I love to read intense literature. I always take things seriously and I have very little -almost none- sense of humor. My life is sad. I have two siblings. Both older then me. My two older sister. They are twins and they're BOTH irresponsable. They make a mess out of everything and are a pair of spoiled brats. They always fall for the same guy (That's why they are both single) and are average in class. Unlike me, I am a straight A student and have a high opinion from all my teachers. I am very good at almost every sport but I don't prefer any. I hate to sweat. I am tall and I have an athletic body. I have straight black hair (Like a skater) and dark eyes. Most of the girls in my class are crushing on me and, honestly, I couldn't care less. Specially for Taylor (I'm not implying she is crushing on me as well.. is she?).

    (Sounds like but I'm not bragging)

    Taylor is the daughter of my mother's best friend and my classmate so, not only do I see her everyday at school but also at home. She is everything I hate: Childish, girlie, loud. She has white skin and light green eyes. Her light brown hair drops down to her shoulders and she has that smile that can drive any guy nuts. But there's just one problem between me and her: I have feelings for her. I don't know why. She and I are like sugar and spice but I like her-hate her. I run away from her because I feel shy and rage. You know that tingly feeling that goes up your spine? Well yeah, something like that. I hate her but I love her. A love I do not want. She knows me more then anyone, and I do not talk that much so, in other words, she knows a one or two things, almost nothing (Yeah... probably nothing). But, she knows... no wait, scratch that. She THINKS I am alone so she feels like I need her help... As if!


    I do not feel over protective of Taylor nor I find myself wanting to see her every minute. I just hate the fact that when I get near her, my heart tightens. I sound like a girl but... there are no other words to describe. So, in a short way, I have a small, insignificant, unoticeable, crush on her. The only difference is that, feelings like this, go away with time (Or rejection) but mine... will stay there, no matter how small. It may never go. It may never grow. It'll just stay there (It can't go since I haven't been rejected nor do I plan on making any moves on her).


    And that's how my day ended in despair. No quiet day for me after all. The worst part is that it will be celebrated on Taylor's house. A place filled with her forever captivating scent. A place I cannot call home but a torture chamber. I might as well plug in my ipod now so at least I have something to listen to while at the party.

    After Taylor and her mom left my house, I entered my mom's office were she was folding some papers.
    "Oh, I didn't hear you coming in, Jason." She said as she turned around on her chair.
    "Mom... you do realize that what I wanted mostly on my birthday I cannot get because of this party, right?"
    She smiled sweetly and walked over to me. She bent down and kissed me on my forehead. "Don't worry. Tomorrow I'm going to stay 'till late at work so you'll have almost all day for yourself, okay?"
    "How long are you going to be?"
    "From six a.m 'till twelve midnight."
    "What? You don't have that much work, mom. That's exagerating." I was surprised, from six in the morning to twelve midnight? Not even dad (RIP).
    "After work, I'm going with Wendy on a shopping spree and maybe we'll go watch a movie."
    "Oh..." That was relief. I would feel guilty if I were to force my mom out of the house for an entire day. "What about the twins?"
    "They are on a camping trip, remember?"
    "Oh yeah, of course." I forgot. My sisters are graduating this year from the 9th grade. They are on a school camping trip out in the woods.
    "Now go take a shower and get ready for bed." She said as she pushed me out of her office. Once I stepped out of the room, she slammed the door behind me as if she were doing something secret. I ignored the feeling and narrowed my eyes. I was really looking forward for tomorrow now though my stomach hurt a little.



    The next morning, I heard a knock on the door. I opened my eyes and peeked out the window. It was dawn.
    "Honey, I'm leaving now. See you tonight... I mean, tomorrow." She corrected. I moaned a yes and turned the other way. A minute later, I heard my mother's car go out of the drive way and down the street. That happened at six am. I was still tired so I stayed in bed.

    I woked up at 8. I got up from my bed and went inside my bathroom.
    "Today, I am going to catch up on my reading." I said to myself. I've been trying to read a book titled "At the end of a day". It's about a man who hated his life and he liked that despair. He always looked forward to the end of the day. When it was time for bed, he would close his eyes and start to cry and whisper all he held during the day. I compare myself to him. All I want is to be alone. To be able to meditate about what I want, what I have what I can have and what I can't.

    I took a short shower and brushed my teeth. Come to think of it, I am pretty independant. I don't need people to tell me what I need, what I can do, what I can't, what I have to do. None of that. I can deal on my own. I was only wearing my boxers since there was no one in the house. My sisters are out and dad passed away 2 years ago. All I heard was silence and I liked it. I walked out of my room while holding and reading the book in one hand and drying my hair with a towel on the other. I jogged down the stairs with my eyes still focused on the reading and went to the kitchen. I like coffee but my mom doesn't let me drink any. I just sneak one once in a while. I dunno... like today maybe. So, as I read, I waited for my coffee.
    "In other news, local teacher from middle school ends up pregnant from her 13 year old student. She is a married woman and claims to have mutual feelings towards the boy-" I turned of the radio. That was a shocking story... for the world. Surprise, surprise. She got pregnant of a thirteen year old boy... tell me something I don't know. Recently, all I hear on the news are cases like this one or perhaps worst. But there've been so many, I'm not surprised anymore.

    The smell of coffee filled the air. Oh how I loved that relaxing smell in the morning. I opened one of the kitchen cabinets to grab a cup and noticed a post tip sticked to one of them.

    Jason-
    Don't think I don't know you drink coffee. Please don't.

    Dammit, I got caught. I poured the coffee down the drain with much pain. Rules are rules... I don't care, but if you get caught breaking them, you have no choice but to fallow them. I made myself a normal sandwhich and lowered the temperature on the thermostat.

    After breakfeast, I sat on the table to continue my reading. Apparently, the man from the story was quiet and determined. He lived alone in a small apartment on the suburbs and had an acceptable job at a restaurant. His girlfriend died in a house fire and since then he's been laying low. Every night, he would cry and tell her how much he missed her and how he wanted to go with her. And so-

    "Riiiiing! Riiiiiing!" The annoying ring tone of my phone rang announcing someone was calling... and that someone interrupted my thoughts. I looked around for my cellphone and saw it laying next to the receiver. I walked over to it and answered it.
    "Hello?"
    "JASON!?" That loud giggle sounded familiar. It strung my ear drum so I parted the phone away. "IS IT REALLY YOU!? WHERE ARE YOU?!"
    "Taylor... don't call me.... ever...." I hung up on her with a pissy attitude. After that, I turned off my phone. I didn't want to hear from her... not this early in the morning. I sat down on the couch and read and read until... I finished the book! I really did.

    I finished it by twelve in the afternoon. It was a long book after all. In the end, the man killed himself, something I hope I do not compare to. I stood up and walked up the stairs. Down the long hall I went and into my mother's office. There I placed the book back in the bookshleves giving it the tightly packed looked it had. I took a deep breath and just then, I heard the doorbell. Dammit! Is it me... or do annoying tones always interrupt my mental monologues? I stomped down the stairs and opened the door unwillingly.
    "I don't want any damn cakes so please, go away." I said with my eyes closed. I mean, why do I need to see the face? It was probably some kid selling chocolates or pastries.
    "How about company?" It was Taylor... to my unfortunate surprise. Damn. Even though I keep rejecting her, she keeps coming back.
    "I don't want you-" Silence came along when I noticed Taylor was on her underwear. No wait! Her bathing suit. Why was she- OH MY GOD!! I'M ON MY BOXERS!!!! I slammed the door on her face and ran up stairs. I grabbed my bathing suit and got dressed (Why my bathing suit? It was easy to put on. On a drawer -easy access-, no underwear recquired). I ran down the stairs... no wait! scratch that. I FELL down the stairs until I crashed with the front door. I scratched my lip and was lightly bleeding. When Taylor came in, she noticed... She panicked and ran to the first aid kit and grabbed bandages and stuff (Typical). As she healed me, she asked me how did it happened. I smiled a grin. I had the perfect line to answer this (Saw it in some show or movie) "A woman bit me." I payed close attention to her reaction. Why was I interested in checking her reaction? She simply giggled. It means she saw the movie and recognized the line. Crap.
    "Oh Jason, do you really think I'd believe that?" What was she talking about? Many girls are after me. I probably even slept with some of them... or not but still! She finished healing me and threw away all the used stuff.
    "Thanks Taylor." I said. "Now leave."
    "But I just got here." She said with a huff.
    "SO!? I DON'T WANT YOU HERE!! NOW GO!!" I bursted as I pointed out the door.
    "But can't you see? Your mother left to work and so did mine. We have the whole day to ourself so why not spend it together?" After a short series of events, I found myself being dragged to the pool. Turns out, Taylor came to take dip.
    "Then go to the pool, take a dip, and then leave!" I said flatly.
    "But why?"
    "Why what?"
    "Why wont you get in?"
    "CAUSE I DON'T WANT TO, TAYLOR!! WHAT PART OF I HATE YOU DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND!?!?" She simply smiled that smiled that drived me nuts. I turned around and avoided her looks.
    "Aww you're just grumpy cause you didn't have your morning coffee."
    "What?" I turned around. "How do you know about the coffee--WHA!!" Taylor pushed me into the pool.
    "You need to cool off, Mr. grumpy mornings." She cooed. If I were to get even matter, the water on the pool would evaporate but I tried to relax. I just wanted her to leave as soon as possible.
    "ACHOO!!"
    "Oh my God. You had a cold?" She pulled me out. "Why didn't you tell me?!"


    Perhaps, faking a cold on Taylor was the smartest trick I ever pulled on her. But it didn't last long. Next thing I know, I have a nurse.
    "Here you go. Have some hot chocolate." She said as she pushed the hot ceramic cup nearer to my face. I turned away and slammed the cup out of my face with my hand. "AAAAAH!!!!!" I turned around quickly and saw my grave mistake: The hot chocolate spilled on her face. "AAAH!!!! IT BURNS!!!" Taylor bursted up and wiped her face quickly. I looked at her with shock and regret but then I noticed... Taylor was as well having a panic attack -She was propense to those- so I stood up quickly. I looked around and grabbed a towel and got it moist with cold water. I quickly rubbed it against her face.

    After a few short minutes, Taylor was calmed but her face was very red. I just couldn't face her and to make it worse: There was this uncomfortable silence between us.
    "Taylor, I--" She stood up and left with a tearful face, leaving me with an unfinished apology.

    Dammit. Why is it that when I want something, I can't get it peacefully?