• “I love you, but, this isn’t working out, I don’t think you even care about me anymore. I think it would be better if, if, you stopped messing with my feelings and pretending you do like me. I really do like you, but, you don’t like me, do you. So, I guess, this is the end, good bye, and, I love you, I always have.” I don’t remember what he did, I remember though running away from Stephan, the rain pounding down on me, mixing with my tears, my tears of sadness and regret. Stephan had not been my first boyfriend, but the one I loved the most, or so i thought. But everyone had said they saw him kissing Luna, my best friend, the one who was always after my boyfriends, trying, but never succeeding, until now. I had always thought she was joking when she said she wanted my boyfriends, but I was wrong. It turns out she was also always jealous of me, my hair, family, grades, body, life and boyfriends. She even had the nerve to tell me this on my 16th birthday. That she’s always hated me, me with my perfect life, even though my mother is dead, and my dad barely talks to me. I remember her yelling about that. “So? I’d love to have my parents butt out of my life! I’d love to have your life! Your perfect life! You always complain it’s so hard and horrible but it isn’t! Every guy you like likes you back, you always get a lead in the plays, you’re on varsity volleyball and the team captain and the cheerleader team captain for the football team! You’re even dating the best player on the football team and you say your life is bad! You have a f****n 4.0! Your life is so damn perfect! I’d kill for your life!” she was yelling at me by then, her face red as her cougar shirt. “No, you wouldn’t, I’ve worked so hard for my 4.0, and I stay up late every night. The only reason I’m on varsity volley ball and team captain is because I practice two hours outside of practice, cheerleader captain because I do that for cheerleading too. I practice for them year long. I have worked my a$$ off for my grades, plays and team sports, and yes, I’m dating Stephan but my life is horrible. I never knew my mom, she died when I was three, gone the whole time I was alive. She died coming back for my three year old birthday, hit by a drunk driver. My dad can barely look at me! He knows it’s my fault she died; she died coming to see me! If it wasn’t for me, she would still be alive! Then to make matters worse, I look exactly like her! I’m killing my dad! Do you still think my life is perfect? If you do then you are one crazy b***h, because it’s not.” Instead of answering she had walked out of my bedroom, nose up in the air. She never looked back.
    Then, one day later, she was caught kissing Stephan, my boyfriend. So, the next day, today, I dumped him. But now, having done that, I feel incomplete, like I’m missing part of me. But it’s too late to go back, the deed is done. Being the quarterback and the best player on the football team Stephan could get any girl he wanted, he always did. But I could get any guy I wanted, but the thing, is, the one guy I wanted, I had dumped. I sighed as I opened the front door to my house. I didn’t even bother telling my dad that I was home, it’s not like he would care, he never came to my games, recognition ceremonies for school or plays. He just avoided me, whenever I needed money for lunch or field trips or something all I would have to do is take it from our money jar. I could even steal the whole thing and he wouldn’t care! The only pictures of me in this house were my school pictures and one baby pictures. They all showed a petite, pale, brown eyed girl with chocolate brown hair streaked with gold, two inches past her shoulders. Those were the only pictures of me. There used to be a family picture but by my 5th birthday my dad took it down. He couldn’t bear looking at my mom; he could barely look at me! It hurt him too much. Walking past those pictures, I could feel tears swelling up in my eyes, knowing, that where other people had family portraits my house had pictures of the sea, gardens and big cities. Wiping away the tears I walked into the library, surrounded by books, books that had given me shelter and happiness when my father couldn’t, which was basically all the time. I knew all the stories in here, which books where happy, which ones were sad, and how all them ended. After I had chosen three books, Blue is for Nightmares, Honor Thyself and Vanished, I began to leave to go to my room, for another quiet, lonely night. Before opening the door though, I heard someone come done the hallway. I quickly ran and hid in the window seat, in the secret compartment. Opening it up a crack, I saw my dad enter. Slumped over, he shuffled over to the poetry section of the library. For awhile he just seemed to be looking for something. Finally he took something off a shelf and left, the cover said A Cold Winter Wonderland. I waited a few minutes after he left, not wanting to run into him. After I heard his door shut, I climbed out of the window seat, grabbed my books and started towards my room, walking quickly, hoping my dad wouldn’t walk out of his room and see me. Once inside my bedroom I turned on my I-pod speakers to Down with the Sickness, by Disturbed. As the familiar beat started up I sat down on my bed and opened up Honor Thyself, glad to enter someone else’s life. As always, the book entranced me and I ended up finishing it up by 12pm, having started at 9pm. By now, I was quite hungry and sure my dad was asleep. Quickly and quietly I got out of my bed and started moving towards the kitchen. When I got there though, I saw that I wasn’t the only one who wanted a midnight snack, my black and white kitten, Sylvester, was also hungry. Wanting to make this quick I heated up some spaghetti leftover from a dinner. While that was cooking I began to open up some kitty food for Sylvester. Purring loudly, he began to rub against my legs, I began to giggle, it just felt so funny. Feeling better, I grabbed the plate of spaghetti and began to walk out of the kitchen. “Hello Amber, it’s been a while, hasn’t it?” At that familiar voice (that I knew, but couldn’t place) I turned around. When I saw who the voice belonged to my blood chilled and my arms broke out in goose bumps. Ezra smiled at me at then started walking towards me. With each step he got closer and closer and I got more nervous. Finally, he was right in front of me. “Have you missed me? Have you stayed true to me, like you promised so many years before, I know I have.” My blooded suddenly chilled, remembering the day he had moved away to Athens, so far away from Sicily…….. “I still can’t believe you’re moving! We were going to be together forever!” My heart had been torn in two, knowing the love of my life was moving away. “I’ll visit every chance I can! I promise, I also promise that I will love only you.” “I promise too, only you.” To seal it, we kissed our last kiss. Later that day he left for Athens, I had cried so much. I couldn’t imagine life without him. “But that was so many years ago, you couldn’t actually think I could keep it! My heart had been broken, I needed to be comforted and you weren’t there to hold me through the first two years. I was only 13! I needed someone to help me, to comfort me, to hold me.” I had been so depressed, I wouldn’t eat or sleep, I had thought that my life was over. “How do you think I feel? I have loved you since we were children, I still do. I’ve never forgotten you, the smell of your hair, the taste of your lips.” I turned away, wondering how he could still love me after almost five years. “The funny thing is, your best friend, Stephan, said you wanted him to comfort me, and I believed him, through those troubled times, he was the one who comforted me, not you.” He turned his back to me, when he started shaking; I thought it was with tears, not laughter. “Of course he said that. He’s been crushing on you almost as long as I have. And once I started dating you, he wanted you even more, you were like a toy he couldn’t have, and making him want you even more.” I stood there, speechless. Ezra just smiled, and walked slowly to me. “I have never forgotten you, not even for a second. You will always be number one in my heart.” I shifted around on my feet, a bit uncomfortable that while he had loved me so much and stayed true to me, I had broken our promise. “Yes, I know you broke your promise but I really like you, a lot. Please give me another chance. Will you go to the dance with me?” I stood, shocked, that he loved me enough to give a second chance. “Ok, but I’m trying it out, nothings permanent.” I had to at least give him a chance, seeing as I was the one who broke the promise. “Thank you, I will pick you up at seven. Good-bye Amber, I’ll see you tomorrow.”