• I just looked at him. Not human..? My thought registered over and over again numbly.
    He looked back, his eyes steady.

    "We drink the essence of a body. Our bodies were built for drinking the essence of humans, but we object to that, and drink animals' essence. We believe harming humans is wrong, as we were once them, and they are, well, human. Thought, emotion, solidarity, intelligence, so they should not die an animal's death." He said, in a steady voice, as if he were speaking for the whole village - which, i suppose, he was.

    "Would you like a cup of tea?" he asked suddenly, in a different voice, taking me by surprise. Where did that come from?

    "Um." I said, non-commitally. He raised his eyebrow and smiled.
    "Normal, human tea, not poisoned, I swear. I'll even put sugar in it." he said, grinning. There was that 'h' word again. Human, I mused.

    My definition of human was the frail-livered, soft-skinned, marrow-boned body, that recognised its fellow people and accepted them. These people felt compassion, humiliation, envy, and most importantly, love.
    But I guess other things can experience those.
    I realised he was still waiting for my answer, one eyebrow raised, so I nodded, looking down. He put his hand on my shoulder for a second, then left the room - it felt as if a fire had started where he'd touched me, and been doused when he let go. I didn't even want to think what that meant. Maybe it meant I was human.
    Oh god. What if I had been un-human when I was Chara? What if the reason I had been turned human was that I was being punished because I had sank my teeth and sucked out the essence of a, shudder, human?!
    I flicked the side of my head for clarity - Didn't work great, but at least the sharp pain was something to clear my emotions.
    Ok. Point 1: I was pretty sure Leon, Mikaeli and the others, even the ones in the village, were not human.
    I could deal with that - mostly.
    Point 2: I used to be one of the things they were - I guess I could loosely call them a vampire, if it worked for essence instead of blood. Part of the family, safe reliable Chara.
    That was acceptable, and would explain the memory loss.
    Point 3: I was human now.
    Thank God.
    Point 4: I didn't know what came next. I didn't know what had come before. I didn't know what I wanted. I'd ask Leon.

    He came in at that point - I was starting not to be surprised that he appeared before I started thinking heavily anytime - holding a steaming cup of sweet tea.
    "Here you go, Cisandrí. Two sugars, a guess, since I don't know what you would like." Emphasis on the 'you', I noted. He seemed to hate the idea of me being anyone else but Cisandrí, certainly not Chara. I filed that fact away - it must mean he knew Chara did something bad, and he did not want me to do that - whatever it was.
    I smiled my thanks, took a sip - it tasted good, well-made, not too black, not too milky- before asking my question.
    "What am I?"
    He sighed, like he knew what I was asking before I spoke.
    "You're human. Chara was 'vampire', like me, my family, and the rest of the village." He said matter-of-factly.
    I nodded - that's what I had thought.
    "Who was Chara to you?"
    That question threw him off, I could see.
    "I.. well. She was part of the family, Lukes' sister. And well, I loved her. She loved me too." he spoke in brief, hesitant sentences, and I dug my nails into my other hand as I clutched the cup - I hated causing him discomfort.
    "Do you hate me? Because I'm not her?" I asked. I was dreading his answer, and wished he would just look at me, I wouold be able to see the answer as it burned in his eyes - either they would look at me with revulsion and hate, or with.. well, the way I looked at him. He looked down, at my hands on the mug.
    "No." he said simply, but sincerity rang in his words. I was quiet, but he must have heard the doubt in my silence, because he looked into my eyes and smiled. "I do not hate you because you are not Chara. I love you because you are Cisandrí.
    I know you well, even if not all of you, as I have only known you a few days. But I see the way you look at the world, seen you thinking everything through in your eyes, and seen how you wince when others are in pain. You even hurt yourself when you are hurting others, or causing others discomfort." he looked pointedly at the scratches on my hands, where I had dug my nails in. "You are selfless, helpless, and have a true soul, and you wear your heart on your sleeve for anyone to see. It makes me want to warm it with my own.
    Chara showed hers, but it was bruised and beaten, her heart. The reason Chara became something new was because her life was not giving." he looked down, at the mug again, but I could see the chagrin in his eyes. "She had been at this life longer than I, but she was brave and selfless too. She was spent - life had become something of torture to her, as she had never moved on, never started anew. She eventually saw love as an anchor to that torture, and set out in the night away from our town. Away from me. We had not heard from her for 3 days, and then Mikaeli found you when out hunting. He immediately was worried for you, as Chara's old life had caused her pain and he was part of that life, but upon finding you as you, he brought you back to us. I saw you, not Chara. I did love Chara, of course I did. But the love broughht her pain, so I stopped. For her. But you - you can receive love gladly, and give it." he looked into my eyes. "I realise you may not want this past - there is a human town some 20 miles from here, where you would be welcomed as a wild, lost traveller, but a human nevertheless. I would let you leave, though it makes my heart break to think of it. But I want you to stay." he said the last quietly.
    I looked at my cup too. I thought of the human village - I could say I got lost as a child, wandered away into the woods, and never found my way back. I could say I grew up in the wild, hunting on the forest animals. I could even think of the name I could call myself when I left Leon -
    then it really hit.
    Losing Leon, even the thought punched a hole through my heart, left me feeling as if I couldn't breathe. Like I was brightened by his light, but with him gone I would be blind, unable to see anything else, like a broken person. It would make me ache with the pain every second of my fake human life, I would never be able to speak without the faceof Leon in my mind, and the yearning to be near him would turn my words to sobs. I loved him too, as he loved me - I was strong in my conviction of that, for my love was so complete because he returned it, and my pain would be as full of longing as his if I left now.
    "You know I could never, ever leave you. I could never ever even consider it, because I love you." I looked into his eyes, and saw the love burning there that I was sure reflected in mine.

    So this is Love. I thought.
    To be complete with one person.
    Love is not a feeling, but a meaning really.
    Love is something that cannot be contained, or reined in.
    Love is to feel each other's pain, to cry for the other, because you feel their pain intensified ten-fold, and equal for them.
    Love is to feel each other's happiness, to be truly glad that you can make them happy, to be content with the world you shape for yourselves.
    Love is happiness no matter what - anywhere is Heaven as long as they are with you. Even Hell.
    Love knows no bounds.
    And I loved him, like he loved me.
    I smiled.
    "So, I guess I'll stick around. I mean, humans are so last year, its all about the essence vampires this season." My teasing felt natural with him. He grinned, his eyes clearing.
    "The best news is that you'll turn into one of these essence vampires if you choose, just by drinking the spring water. One of those little quirks, and it'll mean we can stay together forever. We'll go tomorrow." he already knew I would go, of course.
    We would go together.

    Forever.