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In a field of rye, 2 kids were playing tag, as their mother sat underneath a big healthy tree, her
nose in a book. The 2 kids played merrily, and their mother looked up at them as they happily
ran around the tree. But then 2 cars came into the mom’s view. They were big, black, and shiny,
driving quietly and quickly, as the rye magically died and dissipated into mere infertile soil. The two
kids ran quickly to their mother, who got up and placed the 2 behind her. The two
innocent heads peeped out as the cars came closer, and parked near the gracefully. Only one man came
out through the river's door, wearing a fine white suit, and took a cigar from his breast pocket and
lit it with an ebony black lighter. As the flame turned on, the air around the scared innocents turned
rancid and sour, the sky began changing into a septic orange. The 2 children coughed cutely,
but the mother suppressed the urge to cough. The man in the white suit grinned maliciously, and
blew out smoke. The children coughed even harder, even the mother couldn't hold it in anymore.
The tree then decayed magically, all the leaves blowing off straight to the ground, no graceful
spins, and no pretty colors. All of them fell towards the dead earth. The man chuckled and said
"Nice kids" and he threw the cigar on the ground, and the 3 spontaneously bursted into flames.
As they screamed in pain, the man returned to his car nonchalantly, and drove away
- Title: Death comes with Americanpride
- Artist: ABluejay
- Description: Trying to make a short story that symbolizes the death of innocence. DId I do it?
- Date: 02/05/2009
- Tags: death comes with americanpride
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Comments (3 Comments)
- Girouette - 03/11/2009
- your use of the word "two" is overused, yet your diction is perfect after that
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- ElvenFalcon - 02/06/2009
- Nice!! Although, it might help if you replaved '2' with 'two' and spaced the sentances out with about a line inbetween... yeah, though! I like it
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- Darcnesfalls - 02/05/2009
- the amount of detail in the story was really good. all and all a good short story i liked it
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