• it is now Sunday...im going over to Lily's to study...i felt good today...peacful...strange....that hasnt happened to me before...in a long time...too long...

    i walked to Lily's house watching the leaves fall from the old oak trees...i felt so happy...i dont know why...all of my emotions are being changed....one minute i feel happy...next ill feel sad...then ill feel peaceful....no confusing...great! now im confused!! AH! now mad?! what next! "Ah!" i felt like i just slamed into a stone wall...then i felt someone catch me as i fell..."hey? you ok?" i slowly opened my eyes...to..see...oh great...Axel...next emotion ....sick to my stomach...great...i looked around to see if there was a distraction i could use to get away from Axel...but nope...nothing...so after two minutes of not speaking i finally said, "yeah im fine! i should watch were im going!" Axel smiled at me showing his beautiful pearl white teeth...why does he have to be perfect! "well i gotta go!" he looked at me with a sad look..."oh...i thought we could hang out..." no...no way! "im sorry i have plans" i almost said that rudely but i held myself back.....i tried to think of something to say, but i couldnt....i just looked at gravel street at me side...Axel finally let me go. i looked back up to see his beautiful god looking face...he was staring ahead of me look at the old wooded forest behind us...i flinched back. "What is it?" he shook his head and looked at me "nothing, just lost my focus." i nodded. i didnt want to leave...but i did...i knew i loved him...i mean who wouldnt, but he could never love me back...i wanted him to say on more thing...but he didnt...he was silent. i longed to be with him but i couldnt...i mean he looks like an angel sent down to earth but i...i look...well...ugly...i know everyone says im beautiful...but-"so Jac...you wanna go somewhere sometime?" my heart skiped a beat....yes! yes! yes!!! "r-really?" "yeah...so do you want to?" i tried to be cool about this...ok "sure" not as hard as i thought!
    i was filled with many thoughts! couldnt control! i almost screamed! i smiled at him and gave him a hug...i could feel him jump a little...i stayed there for a long time until i noticed...he...doesnt have....a...heart beat...

    my eyes widened with fear....no heart beat? thats not possible..is it? i sayed there trying to figure out what was going on...i didnt want to let go of him...i couldnt...but i forced myself...i let go of him. i smiled and so did he. i waved goodbye and started to walk...but then he grabed my wrist..."can i have your phone number?" my heart again skiped a beat...my eyes widened my palms got sweaty...i felt burning..."s-sure! its 1257-786-9083" i was shaking a little...hope he didnt notice! "thanks! ill call you about ok?" i nodded. you describe the emotions i have right now! we both smiled and walked away...