Untitled Pt1

• Artist: Vampire_Panda14
• Description: I don't know what to call this story but it has some patrs to it. If you have an idea on what the title should be then just leave a comment or pm me. Since school has but sort of busy my mind has not been in the right place. So here you go.
• Date: 01/17/2009
• Tags: untitled

The wind blew making the trees sway to and fro like dances. She layed there watching the tress wonder what was going to happen to her now. Her parents have died and her brother had left her alone. Ever since she ran from her foster parents there has not been a safe place for her to stay. She heard a sound and ran as fast as ahe could. Her foot got caught and she fell. Then her world went black.

Comments

[Dancing Armadillo Mage]

I think this is too rushed. Too much information packed into such a short paragraph. Don't just give away everything about your character at the beginning. And I think in the first line you mean "to and fro like dancers" Nice start for a story though.

[Angel blood_Devil heart]

Well I like this and well I don't really know exactly of whats going to happen in the story but a title you could use is "The Lost"