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Elixa slipped through the doorway, wondering what had happened to everyone. There was no one in any of the rooms and no one in the hall way either. She saw a few specks of blood on the walls and was soon running in hysterics. She couldn't get out... she could find anyone.
That's when they found her.
- by xDemonxOfxDeathx |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 01/16/2009 |
- Skip
- Title: I'm Alone
- Artist: xDemonxOfxDeathx
- Description: I just wanted to write something for the arena. So if you don't like it than I will be ok with it. I just want to know what kids around my age think about my writing so please be honest. Thanks for rating. And please please please tell me if this beginning paragraph would be good for the beginning of one of my novels! Thanks again!
- Date: 01/16/2009
- Tags: alone
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Comments (4 Comments)
- The Auric Healer - 02/13/2009
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O.-
Can't really say anything more than whats alrewady been said.
I agree with Cheshire-cat284, the first senteces is the most importaint.
Hehe... Is it a dream? A nightmare? Or is it real??
May you be guarded by the light. - Report As Spam
- Werewolf Aisling - 02/02/2009
- Cool, sounds suspensful. Keep working on it.
- Report As Spam
- Paradox Polka-Dots - 01/16/2009
- oh, and the bold was a very nice touch biggrin
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- Paradox Polka-Dots - 01/16/2009
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Ooh, dramatic.
I recommend you elaborate more, especially if your going to use it for a novel. Adjectives! They are my best friends, and my ultimate writing tool (my writing is erupting with them). They make certain sentences flourish, you know?
It's a nice opening! Something that would interest readers, the first sentences are [to me at least] extremely important. - Report As Spam