• “Prince Charming” I mused. “My Knight in Shining armor….”I smiled into the mirror and submerged myself in blissful memories of his face….his smile…his voice.
    And last year, spinning round and round on his feet. We laughed and ignored the stares of the others as we made our own fun.
    “My Lady?” He playfully bowed offering his hand. I rolled my eyes but placed my hand in his. He expertly glided around the room in perfect rhythm. I suspect the stares had to do with the fact that the speakers did not murmur a gentle classical theme, or a fluttery waltz, but a more modern “Please Don’t Stop the Music” by Rihanna. Yet we twirled across the empty dance floor for our stuck-up spectators. When the song ended, we left, laughing. It couldn’t have been more perfect.
    I quickly glanced at the clock. “Ah!" I squeaked, and then fumbled around throwing on my outfit and running a brush through my hair.
    Seth and I were going to the dance again; it was our little tradition. It was just some stupid teen dance at the community center, but we made the best of it.
    I heard the doorbell downstairs and panicked through my makeup. I heard my mom open the door and greet him. Crud, crud, crud, crud.
    “Hey, Shawnee!” He said excitedly, coming into the room.
    My mouth went slightly agape at the sight of him. His raven black hair was ruffled into a stylish mess; his icy blue eyes were like crystal, shimmering with his smile. Even though he was dressed casually, he still managed to send my heartbeat wildly out of control.
    And unfortunately, he knew nothing of this. Of his power over me. I was doomed to be forever lusting after the one person who I shouldn’t. The one who had been like a brother growing up. My best friend.
    He crossed the room in a few steps and hugged me tightly. He leaned out of the hug to re-examine my face.
    “Did the make-up thing attack you?” He chuckled. I turned to look at the mirror, and a black smudge ran from my eye and partially down my cheek.
    “Crud," I said, snatching up a towel and rubbing against the black.
    “So do I get a hello?”
    “Ugh - you made me slip up. I was rushing and then you burst through the door- which by the way was a bad idea. What if I had been…..ya know…..like, in my underwear or something?” He started cracking up.
    “HAHA!” I said sarcastically”Just knock, okay?”
    “Sure, I wouldn’t want to mentally scar myself now, would I?” I stuck out my tongue at him.
    ———————————————————————-
    Even fewer people showed up at the dance. After dancing like the dorks we are for nearly an hour, we sat down, exhausted. Seth sat motionless for a while, staring ahead in deep thought. I scooted my chair closer to him.
    “Something wrong?” I asked quietly. He looked down at me and smiled a small, sad smile.
    “You know this is my last year, right?” he asked sadly.
    “Senior year over! You’re Free!” I said happily.
    “Not quite.”
    “Why?” I asked.
    He sighed heavily and looked me straight in the eye “College."
    “I thought you were going to wait a year. So we could go together,” I said, my smile fading.
    “I was. But my parents…”
    “Oh," I said quietly. It was all I was able to come up with. What were you supposed to say when your best friend was going away? When you would go a whole year apart? It’s sure to be different. He’ll go away to a new school, meet new people, and forget all about me?
    “Yeah, oh," he said running his fingers through his hair. “I never wanted to do this, Shawnee; you know, if it wasn’t for them I would stay here with you.”
    I nodded quietly, not looking him in the eye.
    “Shawnee?” He asked, reaching out to lift my chin with two fingers.
    “Where?” I whispered, still avoiding his gaze.
    “Here. Just not here, here. I’m going to get a dorm at SSU.”
    We were both quiet for a while. I felt like I was going to throw up, and my head was going to explode at the same time.
    “Can we go home now?” I asked.
    He was quiet for a minute; I could feel his eyes on my face. “Yeah.”
    He pulled me up and we walked in silence to his car.
    On the way home, he kept glancing at me.
    I tried to imagine life without Seth. I had already accepted not seeing him at school, but I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to not have him next door, to not have him come over everyday to hang out. He was my best friend and I don’t think I could stand to lose him.
    “Please say something," He begged, breaking the silence.
    “Like what?”
    “Are you mad at me? 'Cause I’d rather have you yelling at me; it’s hard to see you like this.”
    “No, I’m not mad at you, and no, I’m not going to yell at you.”
    We pulled up quietly into my driveway and I immediately got out. I heard his door slam too and he followed me into the house.
    “Shawnee, Is that you?” My mom called from the living room.
    “Yeah,” I said, just loud enough for her to hear. I jogged up the steps with Seth on my heels. I didn’t bother to shut the door behind me, because I knew he would. I sat down on the bed, and he sat down beside me.
    “Shawnee….” he said cautiously. Just then I felt the tears that had been forming spill over and run down my face.
    “Don’t leave.” I heard my voice crack. I didn’t hold it in anymore. I leaned into him and cried as he held me close.
    The worst part is that he'll never know....

    “Shawnee? Please, please pick up. I’m sorry.” I can’t believe he’s still calling. This had to be the 3rd message he’d left today. “I don’t want to leave like this; you’re making this so much harder.”
    “No you are.” I thought in response.
    I sighed “Alright, Goodnight. Please call…or come over.” He said quietly.
    Fat chance. I didn’t want to go over and see him; I’d just end up crying. But am I really going to let him go without a word? Would that really help?
    I sighed and squeezed my eyes shut trying not to think about it anymore. Willing it all to just go away, to wake up from this nightmare, like I’d been doing for the past 3 weeks.

    My dreams that night didn’t help………
    Seth had been away at college for a month was coming home for the weekend. I was extremely excited and by then had forgotten all about my stupid reaction to him leaving in the first place. His parents were having a party for him and I was there. I waited anxiously for him to arrive and jumped at the sound of the doorbell. I made my way through the crowd so I could see him coming in. My heart stopped as I stared at him with the smile still frozen on my face. He walked in the door with his arm around another girl. I felt dizzy and I could feel the oncoming tears. Everyone turned to watch me as I ran crying from the room out the front door.
    I will still crying when I woke. I tried to calm myself but the thought that this could be a real possibility kept the tears flowing.
    I would have to say something to him before he left. He had to know and I had to get this over with. I realized then that if Seth did not feel the same way, we would eventually get over it. But if I never took the chance, I would always wonder, I would never forgive myself. After all, nothing ventured, nothing gained. I picked up my phone and dialed quickly, before I could change my mind. It rang once, twice……
    I suddenly realized I hadn’t even checked the time before I called. I looked over at the clock on my bedside table and snickered when I saw that the glowing red numbers read 3 am.
    I was just about to hang up when he answered “Hello?” He said sleepily.
    “Umm…Hi.” I said, awkwardly. Now what? Sorry for waking you up, but I think I’m in love with you.
    “Shawnee?” He asked every trace of sleep gone from his voice.
    “Yeah. Can you….can we talk… face to face?” I asked softly.
    “Yeah.” He said. “I’ll be over in 5.”
    “Now? At like three in the morning?” I asked, incredulous.
    “Why not?” He asked, and then hung up. That was so like him. I had planned on having at least a couple hours to ready myself. I threw on a jacket and rushed down the stairs, trying not to wake my parents. I went out and sat on the porch steps, taking deep breaths.
    A few minutes later I heard him coming. He jogged over and stopped when he reached the bottom step.
    “Hey.” He smiled.
    “Hey.” I replied, trying to force a smile.
    If by some miracle he could feel the same way about me as I did about him, I would be the happiest person alive. If I could be the one to take his breath away the way he did mine.
    My heart was going a mile a minute and I could hear it’s thudding in my ears.
    “Can I ask you something?” I asked quietly.
    “Shoot.” He said sitting down next to me on the step.
    “Okay so I like this guy and I don’t know how he feels about me and I’m really afraid of him rejecting me and I don’t know what to do.” I said it all so fast it took him a minute to figure out what I said. When he did he seemed frustrated.
    “You called me over for this?” he asked, irritated.
    I took a deep breath “Seth, please?”
    “Shawnee, you worry too much. Just tell him. And if he does reject you, what’s the big deal? You don’t want to go out with someone like that anyway.”
    “It sort of is a big deal. See, we’re really close and I don’t want to lose what we have.” I wondered if I’d said too much. Maybe he would be able to tell who I was talking about now.
    “I’m always here for you.” He said. It didn’t sound like he’d gotten it though. I looked up at him and he looked down at me. Before I could even make sense of what I was doing, I reached up and grabbed his face pulling him to me and pressing my lips against his.
    My head raced as I realized all too late what a bad move that had been. His still, unmoving posture frightened me and I feared opening my eyes to see his face. I pulled away and covered my face, keeping my eyes closed the entire time. I knew as soon as I opened them the regret and rejection would be unbearable.
    I moved my hands away after the furious blush had disappeared. He was still frozen in his position of shock. I got up and ran into the house, up to my room.

    The next morning I sat at the table with my family, my breakfast untouched. I felt numb. My mom keep glancing at me, able to tell something was wrong, but knowing enough not to ask. I mixed the cereal around in my bowl and stared at the clock on the wall. In an hour Seth would be leaving.
    “Honey, won’t you at least say goodbye?” My mom asked me quietly.
    No, no I would not. Not after the way I embarrassed myself. I didn’t know if I could ever speak to him again.
    I shook my head and walked out of the kitchen. I was just going to go up to my room when the door bell rang.
    “Shawnee, could you get that?” My mom called.
    I walked over and opened the door. Seth stood there with a huge smile on his face.
    “I’m not going anywhere.” He said, then pulled into his arms and kissed me before I could say a word.