• You know those comercials that say "it;s 10 pm. do you know where your children are?"
    well, little did my mother know, i was out with the girl she hates.
    little did i know, my son was about 4'' away from me, swimming down a cramped tube full of his possible siblings.....
    i am in a dark room. i'm confused, possibly drunk....i can't remember......what's that noise? crying? no....moaning? panting?
    the room comes into slightly sharper focus...
    i see her, sprawled out on her back on the black comforter o a large wooden bed....
    i black out again...
    i come to hour later. sunlight is filtering through blinds in an unfamiliar room. i look left. a 'hello kitty' alarm clock. look right. there she is. the girl my mother hates. she has one arm draped over my torso, and her head rests on my chest.
    she has a look of contentedness on her face. well, at least i did good.
    i ease my way out of bed, careful not to wake her. i walk to the attached bathroom and turn on the shower. a shockingly old one. i need to get my wits about me.
    'ok' i say to myself,'what happened...?'
    but for the life of me, all i can recall is a hazy group of immages... flshing strobe lights. the party. laughing girl. my laughing girl. a large oak-frame bed, with dark covers......
    'ok, i got drunk and had sex. no biggie.'
    i hope to myself that my mother will not wake when i eventually return home. but i won't go, i'm not that kind of guy. one of those 'bunk and run' guys...
    i gently shake her. she awakens.
    "morning..." she says , sleepily rubbing her eyes.
    i smile. god, i love her. "morning sleepy head"
    we kiss, but it is brief. we both have hangovers, me, probibally more so than her.
    "look, my mom is probibally-"
    she laughs."i understand. just go you littledork"
    i smile once more. 'dork'. tht was her pet name for me.
    i walk home. the trip is uneventful, aside from the old man who lives across the street staring accusedly at me. i think he's her uncle, or grandfather. cant remember. head is so fuzzy....
    i sneak inside. my mom is waiting for me. not with a scowl, or a barrage of lectures. but holding a phone reciever, with tears in her eyes.
    "she wants to speak to you.."
    uh-oh. could be trouble. i take the reciever,
    "hello?"
    "oh, my god! please, honey. please tell me we used protection"
    "whu-?" i whisper stupidly
    "Oh god, we didn't, did we? my god! my ******** GOD!"
    "what is the problem?!" im rather slow when i am hung-over...
    "what's the problem? what do you thiunk?! how can you do this to me, i had dreams you a**!"
    Click. the phone goes dead silent.


    click.