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"Mom my talent show is in two weeks are you coming?Lola said to her mother one day after dinner."Lola you can't be in the talent show.""But Mama I can sing plus, I'm already in the talent show, daddy said I could be." "How many times do I have to tell you that singing is not a career, and that no one in this family can sing." She chuckled when she said this."But mama if you would just hear me sing once." "No Lola why don't you want to be a doctor like me or a lawyer like your daddy?" "Because I'm not like both of you. You never listen to anything I have to say" Lola said rolling her blue-green eyes. "Lola!Lola!" her mother called out but all she got was the slam of Lola's bedroom door.
"Knock Knock can I come in?" her father asked after hearing her fall out with her mother. "Go away!" he walked in against Lola's wishes. "Daddy can you talk to her?" "Talk to your mother?" "Yes because she is trippin." "She's trippin?" "Yes, because she said that I can't sing in the talent show because it's not HER dream for me." "well you know how your mother is she only wants what's best for you." "I know she does but if she just heard me sing just once maybe she'll change her mind. Please daddy just talk to her.""I'll see what I can do."
LATER THAT NIGHT..
" Jacki, I think Lola really wants to perform in the talent show she has the natural ability to do so. She loves the stage, the crowd, the applause." "But that's not what I want for her Leon.I want her to be successful like us. I want her--" "And she will be sucessful. Just think of our daughter walking across the stage to accept her Grammy or Emmy award, but this talent show is just a little baby step to getting there, what do you say?" "you do have a good piont, she does have the natural ability as a performer.Remember when she was little and she would always sing along to the radio or the t.v or sing in the bathtub?" She said to her husband as he sat on the edge of the bed taking off his shoes and tie."Or how she would sing happy birthday above the other kids at parties and make up cute little songs to sing for us?".
- by Xx-special-needs-xX |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 07/17/2008 |
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- Title: The talent show
- Artist: Xx-special-needs-xX
- Description: This story is about a girl who really wants to sing in the talent show but her mother doesn't want her to.
- Date: 07/17/2008
- Tags: talentshow singing performing
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Comments (1 Comments)
- Hekibel - 03/02/2009
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I'm gonna toss out some constructive criticism.
First, make a new paragraph with each character talking. Whenever it changes, hit the return key.
Second, the story is okay, but kind of lacking. It's mostly dialogue, and reading people's quotes gets really dull, and annoys readers. Throw in some descriptive things like: "I want her to be successful like us, I want her-" Jacki ranted, before Leon cut her off. *insert next paragraph*
See where I'm coming from? - Report As Spam